Michael kept his eyes closed as the other pressed against his temple, the nuzzling. It all helped him calm down and start to focus at least a little bit.
"Mmhm," is Michael's answer, his hand rubbed over Poe's back as if searching for the area that he'd scratched to make sure he hadn't done too much damage.
"Good." There was another little grumble even as he arched slightly into Michael's hand on his back, like a cat readjusting into a petting hand. There was a little twitch of his mouth and a quiet huff of noise when fingers slid across the worst of the scratches, which weren't actually that bad, but it was a reflexive thing in response to an almost-unexpected discomfort.
"S'fine." He said almost immediately, pressing another quick kiss to the line of Michael's jaw, "I've got worse from Bee when I'm not fast enough with the treats." His voice was still a low drawl, not quite as rough at the edges as it had been before, but still rougher than usual.
Poe's voice is still kind of doing that thing that makes him feel a little squirmy just then. Michael shifts, his fingers tracing the scratches a moment longer before dropping away from them.
"Didn't mean to," he mumbled, his hand pressing his shoulder where the other had bitten. "Harder next time," he comments softly. There's still the edge of heat but it's been staved off a little bit. He can think again.
He's a mess between his own come, Poe's and the mess of wetness that had accumulated with his arousal and heat. It wouldn't be getting much better until it passes. "Don't deserve you, Poe."
Poe doesn't deserve to have to deal with Michael. Poe's respectable. Why did Michael have such a knack for being pulled into the orbit of these respectable guys that he's just a black mark on their reputations?
He smiled at the request, making a warm, wordless sound of agreement, he didn't mind doing so, he just waited until it was Michael's idea, careful as always not to make demands and always trying not to overstep.
At the statement that followed, however, he did lever himself up just far enough to actually focus on Michael's face, trying to determine whether this was the usual almost-token protest, or if it was something deeper, "I'm here because I want to be." Either the immediate 'here' of being tangled up in bed together, or the bigger picture 'here' of being with Michael in general, the answer was the same either way.
Michael reaches up and cups Poe's face with his bad hand, the fingers are always more difficult to control on it so there's not much more than a touch there. He looks away from Poe.
Just because Poe wanted to be there didn't mean he deserved everything that came with Michael Guerin. "You still deserve better."
Michael didn't often get so honest. He was never much of a liar but he skirted the edges of truth by diverting by throwing at people what he thinks they're thinking about him instead of actually anything honestly michael.
"I don't even fucking know when I'm going into heat." It's really the least of the problems he has.
He tilted his head easily into the touch all the same, turning a moment later to press a kiss to the middle of Michael's palm before replying: "Been deciding for myself what I deserve since I was about sixteen, but I'll take your input into consideration."
Another smile followed as he dropped a kiss to the arch of the other man's neck, since it was right there when he turned away like that, "You might be surprised how many people don't." From what he understood, aside from people who tracked that kind of thing obsessively, or people on some kind of suppressants, it was actually a fairly common problem.
Michael rolls his eyes. If he weren't still struggling against his hormones he likely would be starting a fight right about there or something to that effect.
The kiss made Michael cave a little. It was hard to stay defiant even a little bit like this and it frustrated him to no end. "Whatever," he muttered, and really his moody nature is more of a facet of his personality than something he can blame on going into heat.
"You're this decorated military man and you're in this trashheap of a trailer in an actual junk yard with riff-raff criminal," he's really kind of stuck on it right now, sorry Poe. "What's wrong with you that you choose to be here?"
At least with Alex, he'd known what it was. It was nostalgia. It was that cosmic connection they'd had when they were kids but with Poe? He just couldn't figure out why Poe wanted to be there and maybe on a good day it bugged him but he pushed it out of his mind. He spent his time expecting Poe to get tired of him and leave, like he was some interesting detour or something.
"Besides the fact that I'm only 'decorated' because I have more common sense than god gave a goldfish?" It wasn't entirely true, but he'd definitely gotten more accolades for having survived the crash and the time between the crash and actually being found than he'd gotten for his actual combat missions.
He gave a one-shouldered shrug before settling again, voice having dipped a little as he continued, "Because the company's better in this trash-heap trailer in a literal junkyard than it is in the detached garage that I've been living in because the house is too empty." He shook his head a little, hand having drifted down to Michael's side, just resting there, heavy and warm, "Nothing wrong with the house, it's just empty and for some reason I can't... can't handle that." He knew what the reason was, to some degree, but if he didn't specify -even to himself- he didn't have to think about it too hard and could just continue on like he had been.
Michael's jaw tightened slightly because that didn't feel like an accurate statement. He knew Poe too well for that. "They don't give just anyone that shit," Michael retorted. He's still feeling tension coiling through him but it's hard to hold onto it when the other's voice dips, when his hand rests heavy on his side.
Is Poe doing that on purpose?
He turns his eyes to him and sometimes Michael thinks there might be something in Poe that's just fucked up. Maybe that's why he likes Michael. Michael's more fucked up. Maybe that's not a fair thought to make even just inside his own head.
"The company would be better in town too, some respectable citizen..." he trails off, exhaling heavily. Is he just trying to push Poe away before Poe can decide he wants to leave?
It might have been a little bit on purpose, but not for the reasons Michael probably expected, mostly it was because Poe needed the grounding of the contact as well, the assurance that Michael wasn't actually going to try and squirm away right at that moment.
"Honestly I try to stay away from the respectable ones, more trouble than they're worth." He'd been a rule-abiding kid, for the most part, but both parents had made sure he knew he could question things, especially them, and that some rules were bendable and some weren't worth being followed in the first place. Most any 'respectable citizen' he'd met didn't do any of that.
"That's kind of backwards isn't it?" Michael questions, furrowing his brow. But he's calming down a little. Maybe it's the words, maybe it's the steady weight on his waist. He shifts to press in closer to Poe, pressing his face into his shoulder.
He brushes his hand over the other's arm, following it's length to where Poe's hand is on him.
It was reflex at that point to run his fingers along Michael's palm, just lacing their fingers a moment later, "Maybe a little, but Jesus, do you know how boring it is being with somebody respectable?"
He shook his head, pressing another kiss to the line of Michael's throat, since it was right there and he could, "Because it is real boring, and I don't handle boredom well." That and there would always come a time when they had a difference in what rules were actually optional and which weren't, and that wasn't something he thought he'd have to worry about with Michael.
Michael considered most rules optional so that's probably true. His fingers tightened to squeeze Poe's hand when their fingers were laced together. He exhaled shakily at the kiss to his throat. He was weak to that on any day but today it made his insides quiver a bit even the slightest of kisses or nips.
"I wouldn't say my experience with it had been boring," Michael murmurs all the same. Alex had been respectable. It had been one constant fight after another at some point. Michael nuzzles at Poe a little bit.
"Maybe the sex is just better with wild things."
But at some point this had stopped being just about the sex for Michael, and he's still largely uncertain if Poe felt the same way. But Michael sure as hell isn't going to ask.
"Oh undoubtedly." He replied, giving Michael's hand a squeeze, "But I kind of thought that this was more than that by now." And it was probably not the best time to mention it, when they were both hormone-addled and still quite literally tied together so that neither of them could actually get away from the conversation if they wanted to.
But then, Poe was notoriously easy to distract at a time like this, so it wouldn't be too difficult to derail the conversation instead.
Michael looks surprised, really, that Poe said it so plainly. He tilted his head so he could look at Poe directly. There's a vulnerableness in his eyes that maybe at any other time he'd be able to mask but not when there's hormones, not when their bodies are tied together like this.
"It is..." Michael admits, and maybe it's more terrifying to admit that than it is to realize that it's true.
That was the thing about Poe, he usually said exactly what he meant, and now was no exception, it was more a case of being especially now, because he wouldn't have been able to lie even if he wanted to.
Which was probably part of what had that lingering edge of tension sliding off his shoulders, the concern that maybe he'd overstepped, that maybe all Michael wanted was a warm body when he needed it and someone to bring him food sometimes otherwise. As that tension ebbed his smile emerged, broad and bright as ever, turning his head to hide it against Michael's neck just briefly before he managed to reply: "Good, glad we're on the same page."
Michael's free hand pressed into Poe's head when the other's face buried into his neck. He really doesn't get what he's done to have Poe stick around when he's been given a million reasons to just leave. Michael keeps expecting him to use one of those reasons any day.
But he doesn't.
He tilts his head a little, a smile on his lips too as he presses a kiss to Poe's mouth. "The sex is really, really good, though," he teases quietly. He can't help it and sex isn't far from his mind at the moment. His body is still on the verge of need.
It was probably a good thing that Poe could tell the difference between trying to scare someone off before they could leave unexpectedly, and actually wanting them to leave, and if it ever came to the point where Michael actually wanted him to leave, he would, because even with Michael giving him reasons to leave, he had just as many reasons to stay.
He angled his head up to return that kiss, and couldn't help but laugh at the statement that followed, just nodding and giving a little swivel of his hips, almost just to settle more comfortably and mostly just to get a reaction, "Yeah, yeah it is."
It was definitely a good thing. Michael didn't really understand it, though, that Poe got what he was trying to do. He didn't get that the balance just weighed in reasons to stay rather than reasons to leave. Poe isn't like Alex who had always been looking for a reason to walk away even when Michael wasn't trying to give him reasons.
Michael inhales sharply when the other's hips moved, his hand squeezed harder on the other's and he wonders if Poe could tell that that just made Michael all the wetter down there. He kisses him again. "Not fair to do that to me right now."
He couldn't tell for sure, not while they were still tied, but it didn't really matter, because he just smiled into the kiss, returning it easily enough and humming low in his throat, not quite a growl and really more of a purr, pleased and amused at once, "Absolutely unfair." He agreed a moment later, unrepentant and without actually pulling away from kiss-proximity, lips brushing against Michael's as he spoke.
He did settle back a moment later, however, gaze skimming the other man's face for any sign of actual distress, "You still alright?"
Michael's eyes were closed as the other stayed so close. He was focused in on every little thing about Poe still, the sounds that he made, how he breathed... everything. He pushed his hand through his hair, hand resting on the back of his head.
The question made him open his eyes and he shifted slightly. "I'm alright."
He smiled at the response, unlacing their fingers for a moment so that he could run his hand through Michael's hair, drawing the sweat-damp strands back from his face, then smoothed his palm along the thigh still hitched up against his hip, taking the other man's hand again a moment later as he replied, "Good."
It had been all he needed to hear, really, and the fact that Michael was still more-or-less relaxed against him helped too, they'd definitely need another round, probably more than one, but a few minutes to recover was a good thing.
It hadn't even occurred to Poe that Michael would have noticed that, or noticed it as being anything out of the ordinary, though he really supposed it should have. And since they were, apparently, already on the emotional roller-coaster, he figured that just answering was better than trying to brush it off.
Of course, actually putting that answer into words was going to take him a moment, brow creasing a little, tongue pressed against the edges of his teeth, "Mostly? It's because I didn't want you to feel like I thought less of you, don't want you to feel trapped." Another beat, "And mostly it's because when I first manifested, I swore that I was never going to lose control. We've all heard a horror story or two, right?" He wasn't actually looking for confirmation, those stories were common enough and he knew it, "I just never realized before how easy it would be to do so, how much one person could make me want to."
Michael would have to be in a compromised position like this to actually ask that question if it wasn't in a fit of anger. He tilted his head as he watched the other think, as he thought about the answer he was given.
"I choose to ...trust... you," Michael hesitates over the word because it's a word he struggles with. He barely trusts Isobel and Max sometimes and there's been times when he didn't trust them at all. But he's learning to trust Poe bit by bit.
Michael's heard more than a few horror stories. He's maybe experienced a couple in the foster care system before he jetted out of it completely and lived in his truck instead (because that had been safe). But he'd never really talked about a lot of things with Poe from that time period of his life. He barely talked about Isobel and Max and their growing up.
"You don't have to be so careful," Michael says quietly, not invalidating what the other feels, at least he's not trying to. "You won't go too far and I know I'm not trapped, that you'd never... I just know."
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"Mmhm," is Michael's answer, his hand rubbed over Poe's back as if searching for the area that he'd scratched to make sure he hadn't done too much damage.
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"S'fine." He said almost immediately, pressing another quick kiss to the line of Michael's jaw, "I've got worse from Bee when I'm not fast enough with the treats." His voice was still a low drawl, not quite as rough at the edges as it had been before, but still rougher than usual.
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"Didn't mean to," he mumbled, his hand pressing his shoulder where the other had bitten. "Harder next time," he comments softly. There's still the edge of heat but it's been staved off a little bit. He can think again.
He's a mess between his own come, Poe's and the mess of wetness that had accumulated with his arousal and heat. It wouldn't be getting much better until it passes. "Don't deserve you, Poe."
Poe doesn't deserve to have to deal with Michael. Poe's respectable. Why did Michael have such a knack for being pulled into the orbit of these respectable guys that he's just a black mark on their reputations?
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At the statement that followed, however, he did lever himself up just far enough to actually focus on Michael's face, trying to determine whether this was the usual almost-token protest, or if it was something deeper, "I'm here because I want to be." Either the immediate 'here' of being tangled up in bed together, or the bigger picture 'here' of being with Michael in general, the answer was the same either way.
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Just because Poe wanted to be there didn't mean he deserved everything that came with Michael Guerin. "You still deserve better."
Michael didn't often get so honest. He was never much of a liar but he skirted the edges of truth by diverting by throwing at people what he thinks they're thinking about him instead of actually anything honestly michael.
"I don't even fucking know when I'm going into heat." It's really the least of the problems he has.
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Another smile followed as he dropped a kiss to the arch of the other man's neck, since it was right there when he turned away like that, "You might be surprised how many people don't." From what he understood, aside from people who tracked that kind of thing obsessively, or people on some kind of suppressants, it was actually a fairly common problem.
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The kiss made Michael cave a little. It was hard to stay defiant even a little bit like this and it frustrated him to no end. "Whatever," he muttered, and really his moody nature is more of a facet of his personality than something he can blame on going into heat.
"You're this decorated military man and you're in this trashheap of a trailer in an actual junk yard with riff-raff criminal," he's really kind of stuck on it right now, sorry Poe. "What's wrong with you that you choose to be here?"
At least with Alex, he'd known what it was. It was nostalgia. It was that cosmic connection they'd had when they were kids but with Poe? He just couldn't figure out why Poe wanted to be there and maybe on a good day it bugged him but he pushed it out of his mind. He spent his time expecting Poe to get tired of him and leave, like he was some interesting detour or something.
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He gave a one-shouldered shrug before settling again, voice having dipped a little as he continued, "Because the company's better in this trash-heap trailer in a literal junkyard than it is in the detached garage that I've been living in because the house is too empty." He shook his head a little, hand having drifted down to Michael's side, just resting there, heavy and warm, "Nothing wrong with the house, it's just empty and for some reason I can't... can't handle that." He knew what the reason was, to some degree, but if he didn't specify -even to himself- he didn't have to think about it too hard and could just continue on like he had been.
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Is Poe doing that on purpose?
He turns his eyes to him and sometimes Michael thinks there might be something in Poe that's just fucked up. Maybe that's why he likes Michael. Michael's more fucked up. Maybe that's not a fair thought to make even just inside his own head.
"The company would be better in town too, some respectable citizen..." he trails off, exhaling heavily. Is he just trying to push Poe away before Poe can decide he wants to leave?
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"Honestly I try to stay away from the respectable ones, more trouble than they're worth." He'd been a rule-abiding kid, for the most part, but both parents had made sure he knew he could question things, especially them, and that some rules were bendable and some weren't worth being followed in the first place. Most any 'respectable citizen' he'd met didn't do any of that.
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He brushes his hand over the other's arm, following it's length to where Poe's hand is on him.
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He shook his head, pressing another kiss to the line of Michael's throat, since it was right there and he could, "Because it is real boring, and I don't handle boredom well." That and there would always come a time when they had a difference in what rules were actually optional and which weren't, and that wasn't something he thought he'd have to worry about with Michael.
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"I wouldn't say my experience with it had been boring," Michael murmurs all the same. Alex had been respectable. It had been one constant fight after another at some point. Michael nuzzles at Poe a little bit.
"Maybe the sex is just better with wild things."
But at some point this had stopped being just about the sex for Michael, and he's still largely uncertain if Poe felt the same way. But Michael sure as hell isn't going to ask.
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But then, Poe was notoriously easy to distract at a time like this, so it wouldn't be too difficult to derail the conversation instead.
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"It is..." Michael admits, and maybe it's more terrifying to admit that than it is to realize that it's true.
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Which was probably part of what had that lingering edge of tension sliding off his shoulders, the concern that maybe he'd overstepped, that maybe all Michael wanted was a warm body when he needed it and someone to bring him food sometimes otherwise. As that tension ebbed his smile emerged, broad and bright as ever, turning his head to hide it against Michael's neck just briefly before he managed to reply: "Good, glad we're on the same page."
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But he doesn't.
He tilts his head a little, a smile on his lips too as he presses a kiss to Poe's mouth. "The sex is really, really good, though," he teases quietly. He can't help it and sex isn't far from his mind at the moment. His body is still on the verge of need.
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He angled his head up to return that kiss, and couldn't help but laugh at the statement that followed, just nodding and giving a little swivel of his hips, almost just to settle more comfortably and mostly just to get a reaction, "Yeah, yeah it is."
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Michael inhales sharply when the other's hips moved, his hand squeezed harder on the other's and he wonders if Poe could tell that that just made Michael all the wetter down there. He kisses him again. "Not fair to do that to me right now."
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He did settle back a moment later, however, gaze skimming the other man's face for any sign of actual distress, "You still alright?"
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The question made him open his eyes and he shifted slightly. "I'm alright."
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It had been all he needed to hear, really, and the fact that Michael was still more-or-less relaxed against him helped too, they'd definitely need another round, probably more than one, but a few minutes to recover was a good thing.
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"Why are you always so careful?" Michael questions after a moment. "I'm not going to break."
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Of course, actually putting that answer into words was going to take him a moment, brow creasing a little, tongue pressed against the edges of his teeth, "Mostly? It's because I didn't want you to feel like I thought less of you, don't want you to feel trapped." Another beat, "And mostly it's because when I first manifested, I swore that I was never going to lose control. We've all heard a horror story or two, right?" He wasn't actually looking for confirmation, those stories were common enough and he knew it, "I just never realized before how easy it would be to do so, how much one person could make me want to."
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"I choose to ...trust... you," Michael hesitates over the word because it's a word he struggles with. He barely trusts Isobel and Max sometimes and there's been times when he didn't trust them at all. But he's learning to trust Poe bit by bit.
Michael's heard more than a few horror stories. He's maybe experienced a couple in the foster care system before he jetted out of it completely and lived in his truck instead (because that had been safe). But he'd never really talked about a lot of things with Poe from that time period of his life. He barely talked about Isobel and Max and their growing up.
"You don't have to be so careful," Michael says quietly, not invalidating what the other feels, at least he's not trying to. "You won't go too far and I know I'm not trapped, that you'd never... I just know."
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