It hadn't really occurred to him until Michael said it flat out that his own reluctance about it meant that he was making someone else's decision for them, which was why he just snapped his mouth shut on the instinctive response, the reflexive deflection, and after a brief moment of silence to make sure he wouldn't do so, he said, quietly: "I'm being unfair. I'm sorry. I shouldn't make your decision for you by denying myself something I know we both want."
His tongue darted out over his lower lip, some kind of nervous even though his fingers curled a little more tightly against Michael's own, meeting the other man's gaze, "If, when, we do this, if it starts to go bad later, I need you to promise that you'll tell me and not just let it fester." Because that was really what he was afraid of, not just that he'd lose Michael at all, but that it would be because neither of them could admit that something wasn't working out, "If I'm going to lose you I'd rather it be on good terms."
Michael can't stay angry when Poe reacts like that. He looks down at their hands. It makes him feel better to be able to know that Poe does want it to that Michael isn't just alone in it.
He looks back up at Poe when the other's fingers curl tighter. The change from If.. to when makes his heart skip a beat because a few seconds before he'd felt like it just isn't a possibility.
"I can promise that," Michael says quietly. But he doesn't see it happening. He still thinks that Poe will be the one that ends up wanting to end this and he's dreading it because he knows he's fallen totally in love with the other man. He wants a life, a full life with him and it's terrifying waiting for how it falls apart.
Maybe he wants the bond so bad because he wants that as something more to hold to that this is real and this is permanent in a way he's never had something permanent before aside from Max and Isobel.
That agreement had the last of Poe's lingering tension bleeding out of him completely and he used their joined hands to tug Michael closer, arms curling easily around him and just burying his face against the arch of the other man's neck, heedless of the likely slightly squashed doughnut box between them.
For a long moment he just breathed Michael in, and when he finally spoke his voice was quiet, not quite muffled against his throat, but something like it, "Pretty sure I've mauled you enough this time. Next time though, give us both some time to get used to the idea." He lifted his head then, expression earnest, "Okay?"
Michael easily lets the other pull him close, tilting his head to give him the access more easily and there's a shiver that goes through him. He closes his eyes and curls into Poe a bit.
"Okay," Michael murmurs and without even comment that there's really no such thing as enough mauling him in his opinion.
He didn't have to say it, Poe could almost feel it at the edges of his mind, and he just smiled, pressing another solid kiss to the mark he'd left on Michael's throat, not actually bringing it up himself because there was no point, not right then, not when the reasoning behind waiting was not just to give them both some time to prepare, but also to give the imprint a little bit of time to fade.
Poe knew, or could surmise, that a bond-bite on top of an imprint like that would just be too much for them both, especially partway through a heat.
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His tongue darted out over his lower lip, some kind of nervous even though his fingers curled a little more tightly against Michael's own, meeting the other man's gaze, "If, when, we do this, if it starts to go bad later, I need you to promise that you'll tell me and not just let it fester." Because that was really what he was afraid of, not just that he'd lose Michael at all, but that it would be because neither of them could admit that something wasn't working out, "If I'm going to lose you I'd rather it be on good terms."
no subject
He looks back up at Poe when the other's fingers curl tighter. The change from If.. to when makes his heart skip a beat because a few seconds before he'd felt like it just isn't a possibility.
"I can promise that," Michael says quietly. But he doesn't see it happening. He still thinks that Poe will be the one that ends up wanting to end this and he's dreading it because he knows he's fallen totally in love with the other man. He wants a life, a full life with him and it's terrifying waiting for how it falls apart.
Maybe he wants the bond so bad because he wants that as something more to hold to that this is real and this is permanent in a way he's never had something permanent before aside from Max and Isobel.
no subject
For a long moment he just breathed Michael in, and when he finally spoke his voice was quiet, not quite muffled against his throat, but something like it, "Pretty sure I've mauled you enough this time. Next time though, give us both some time to get used to the idea." He lifted his head then, expression earnest, "Okay?"
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"Okay," Michael murmurs and without even comment that there's really no such thing as enough mauling him in his opinion.
no subject
Poe knew, or could surmise, that a bond-bite on top of an imprint like that would just be too much for them both, especially partway through a heat.