[ Jean finds it still a bit confusing and stressful. The idea of saying no is still foreign to him, the idea that he might deny Kevin something, anything. He still is rather upset about the previous night's debacle. ]
Okay. [ He's already been ordered to be honest before. He's also been ordered not to hurt himself but he's found little tiny loopholes, concessions and maybe Kevin knows that. ]
[ Jean still isn't sure he sees the point, they had done well already hadn't they? He'd been honest when he needed Kevin to stop. Is this because of that? There's quiet from Jean's end of the call, he should probably say something but he doesn't know what to say and he feels the urge to change or shift the subject. ]
What are your plans for tonight? [ The smoothest of subject changes. ]
[ Jean snorts at the answer, shifting the phone slightly. Of course he's researching a list. That is the most Kevin Day thing Jean's ever heard, just about. ]
really? Your bright and shining personality doesn't light up a room?
[In truth, it would have probably been a bad thing for all of them if Jean had stayed. Jean probably would have chosen to stay near Kevin but he never would have been able to tell him how he felt. He would have never kissed him. The idea of never seems worse than the temporary distance between them now as difficult as it is.]
I will be thinking about you all the time until I see you again. It already feels like too long.
[ Jean's quiet and it's not the first time they've had this conversation. Honestly, it probably won't be the last because even wearing USC colors, being around the Trojans, Jean still doesn't feel like one. A lot of the time it feels like the black has stained him inside. Maybe it did.
He sighs, loud enough that the phone does catch the sound of the exhalation of his breath. ]
I'm not a Trojan either. So what am I? [ It's hard to feel an identity without belonging to a team, that is certainly something that the way the Ravens, the nest had been had twisted in him. The way he needs to belong to someone. The way he can't really do things alone very well. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
Okay. [ He's already been ordered to be honest before. He's also been ordered not to hurt himself but he's found little tiny loopholes, concessions and maybe Kevin knows that. ]
no subject
What are your plans for tonight? [ The smoothest of subject changes. ]
no subject
really? Your bright and shining personality doesn't light up a room?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
I love you.
no subject
I will be thinking about you all the time until I see you again. It already feels like too long.
no subject
I want to do more than talk.
[ There was a pause at the second statement, though. ]
I'm still a Raven.
no subject
He sighs, loud enough that the phone does catch the sound of the exhalation of his breath. ]
I'm not a Trojan either. So what am I? [ It's hard to feel an identity without belonging to a team, that is certainly something that the way the Ravens, the nest had been had twisted in him. The way he needs to belong to someone. The way he can't really do things alone very well. ]
We don't need to talk about this.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)