[Which, of course, makes it sound like Cheng has no concept of intimacy. He growls at himself in frustration. ]
It's...it's not easy to explain. I've tried to let others in. Maybe they push away. Maybe they leave me and refuse to return. Maybe they just die.
[He even holds his beloved nephew at arm's length. Cheng just knows he can't be close. He's the new sect leader of Jinling Tai now. There's no place for Jiang Cheng at his side. He looks from their joined hands and then up to his husband in name, grief and frustration and desperation clear on his face as his voice is a small croak. He's so tired of being hurt. It's enforced his walls to be indomitable, hasn't it? To think about whittling them down for anyone is terrifying.]
[ In truth, such things are easier said than done and Wu Xi doesn't know how to even explain it to Jiang Cheng. He doesn't like that he's frustrating the other, upsetting him. He shakes his head at the other's words, though.
Wu Xi won't push him away or leave. He won't die.
There's hesitation but Wu Xi decides he must be bold. He has to push through the other's fear somehow. He squeezes the other's hand and then he moves closer and then he's straddling the other's lap. ]
[Out of all the scenarios Cheng thought would happen, this wasn't one of them. For a full minute, he looks at Wu Xi in shock, his hands on the other's thighs, neither pulling closer nor pushing away. And then finally he relaxes, hands sliding up and around as Cheng leans his head forward against Wu Xi's shoulder. There's still tension in him, but it shudders out of him in small increments until he's clinging to his husband in name, taking in the other's scent in long draughts of air. ]
[ Wu Xi knows that the other definitely hadn't expected it and he had been prepared to be pushed away and scolded or worse. He leans in to press a kiss to the other's jaw, hesitant and then just relaxes against the other as the other's headrests on his shoulder and he's held by his husband like this for the first time.
He wraps his arms around Jiang Cheng, closing his eyes. ]
[ A small, choked sound comes from him. Promises he knows shouldn't be made. When he pulls his head back to look at Wu Xi, his eyes are wet and glassy. ]
[ Wu Xi hesitates and he doesn't take it back, doesn't apologize even as he meets the other's eyes. His hand comes up, cupping the other's cheek with his slender fingers. ]
Don't tell me what to do.
[ Wu Xi retorts with a hint of a mischievous smile. ]
[ Cheng does what is comfortable for him. A tsk, a roll of his eyes, and then he's resting his forehead against the other's. He's half afraid he's going to be pushed away even though Wu Xi has done nothing of the sort and in fact was more than inviting. His voice is low and the words are muttered almost sullenly.]
[ Wu Xi laughs quietly as their foreheads press together and enjoys that intimacy shared between them. He then tilts his head slowly, his lips coming closer to the other's after a few moments. ]
[ There is a moment's hesitation as a dozen questions zip through his head. Most of them about his own insecurity. However, he meets the distance, pressing his lips against Wu Xi's in a kiss that felt exhilarating to him even though his mind chided him in the chastity of it. ]
[ Wu Xi didn't know how Jiang Cheng would respond. He's taking a risk. But the risk would be worth it if it paid off. He inhales sharply when their lips do meet. It might be chaste but Wu Xi's arms tighten around the other man. He scoots closer to him on his lap, his legs wrapping and hooking behind the other. They're close, so close. ]
[He had parted just enough for the words to pass. He can practically feel the warmth of the other surround him. In just that moment, something breaks free and he dives in for another kiss, desperate and hungry. His hands shift back to Wu Xi's hips and pull him closer, making a needy sound in the process. ]
[ This is a victory. Even if this is all that happens right now it is a victory.
Wu Xi soaks in the intimacy, the touch and closeness. he presses in close and his arms are tight as the other kisses him again.
It's not chaste. It's anything but chaste and he moans into the other's mouth as their bodies fit closer together.
He finally unwraps his arms but just to instead drag his hands over the other's stomach and upward over his chest. There's so many layers but he doesn't care. ]
[ His inhale is loud as his body arched at the touch. He's just as starved for touch and intimacy but would never, ever admit to it. Even to himself.
Suddenly the silks between them are such a hindrance and he's tugging on ties and sashes and it doesn't even register with him that fabric and seams are tearing.
Cheng keeps pressing forward, shifting them to the table and blinding sweeping some of the things away, uncaring of the mess that scatters on the floors. ]
[ Wu Xi still is expecting to suddenly be pushed away, to see a flash of Jiang Cheng's anger but instead the clothes are being shed... shred in some instances and then the dishes clatter.
Wu Xi breaks the kiss briefly, sucking in a few breathes as he holds tight to him. ]
[It's that one word, his new status, that brings him out of his stupor. Should they really be doing this on the table? Dinner is-was...on there! And it seemed sacrilegious to do something like this...like a common whore.
Mind made up and his senses a little clearer, he moves to rise to his feet. ]
Come with me, A-Xi.
[If this was going to happen, it should be proper. Not in a disastrous mess on the table. There was a perfectly good bed that hadn't been put to proper use,yet.]
[ Wu Xi is surprised when the other suddenly stops, getting up. He's about to protest. He didn't want to lose this closeness -- what had he done wrong?
he's still worried as he gets up and follows the other. ]
[ As he moves towards the bed, he can feel his nerves ramping up and almost stops himself. He still doesn't feel worthy and is worried that this was a mistake. Cheng tries to hide all of that from his face and reaches out to pull Wu Xi in. He doesn't stop until their flush together and a small sound comes from him.
The next kiss is still open and he awkwardly sweeps his tongue inside the other's mouth, starting to pull away at the other's layers of robes. ]
[ The worries that Wu Xi has that this is going to stop fade away as he's pulled into another kiss, pulled closer. He moans softly as he feels the other's body against his own and he reaches up to cup the other's cheek as he kisses him.
His lips part easily for Jiang Cheng, allowing the other in, allowing him to explore and he moans softly at the taste of him on his tongue.
His hand slides down the other's body, to the ties, working them open so that they can be pushed away easily when the other is ready. ]
[ He falls back into that dizzying feeling faster than he thought should happen. The touch to his face illicits another sound from him and he feels encouraged to kiss the same way again.
Cheng can feel his heart beat in his ears and his legs feel heavy as he combs his fingers through the free, unbraided strands of Wu Xi's hair.
He wasnt expecting it but Cheng falls somewhat heavily on the bed which breaks the current kiss. He moves to scrape his teeth along Wu Xi's jaw with another rough sound coming from him. ]
Edited 2022-03-13 21:03 (UTC)
gently switches to prose bc my brain is working better w it
Wu Xi shivers at the sound the other makes and presses a bit more eagerly into the kiss as his hand slides back into the other's hair. This kiss is everything that he has wanted. The way the other's hands feel in his hair.
His eyes are dark as he looks over Jiang Cheng briefly. They flutter close when the teeth move along his jaw and he groans softly.
"Now, I wish I had said something sooner," he murmurs.
"You talk too much." The statement is a rasp on Wu Xi's throat, teeth pressed gently on the pulse he found. A moment of suckling is followed by his hands smoothing silks off and running along skin. Cheng's still shy, he doesn't go below the collar bone with his mouth, but his hands start to roam, feeling every bump of rib and spine, and skin. A thumb strikes over a nipple. A span of hand falls into the dip of a waist and then curls down and around to grope one ass cheek.
Cheng curses as he sees sparks when they rub together just right.
Wu Xi laughs. He'll shut up if Jiang Cheng wants. He does wish he had said something sooner because this is good. This is really good. He gasps and pleasure moves through him at the feeling of teeth at just the right place. Wu Xi doesn't feel shy at all. His hands move boldly over the other's body, pulling him close and arching up into him.
He wants to feel all of him.
The other starts to be more bold himself, Wu Xi moans as the nipple is teased, ass groped and he arches eagerly into his husband's touch. He shifts to push away clothes completely. He's too impatient now.
Whatever was holding him back before was non existant now. Cheng took little care for the layers of silks that were being tossed and pushed aside. What he wanted was skin, warmth, and more of those eager sounds Wu Xi was making. It wasn't soon enough that they were reduced to trousers. There was no thought when his hand snakes down the hem of Wu Xi's pants to fully embrace the other's rear.
Cheng doesn't even really take notice that he's tugging the final thin piece of silk down, rolling so that he's cradled between his husband's legs, mouth travelling over a chest and nipping at a collarbone. He feels like he's been starving all this time and he finally has the opportunity to slacken his hunger.
Wu Xi gasps, arching as the other's hand grasps his ass. He'd been longing for this with Jiang Cheng. There's practical reasons of course but he wants him. He's wanted him since their wedding night when he had realized he was going to be turned away.
Quiet sounds escape him as the other's mouth moves over his body. He reaches out to touch him, to spread his hands over the strength of his shoulders, his arms his back. He wants to touch everywhere.
He enjoys the press of fingers into his muscles, the way thighs flank his own. Cheng has very little of his head at this moment. There's no thought of reason, just need. His teeth bite but don't cost lasting harm. There's one dusky nipple that seems especially eager to be bitten. Every so often, he comes up for air, looking down at Wu Xi as he keeps a steady, demanding rock. A tender thumb draws across the other's temple and he then reaches out for some oil.
"It will be better," he murmurs, kneeling up because he needed both hands to deal with the bottle.
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[Which, of course, makes it sound like Cheng has no concept of intimacy. He growls at himself in frustration. ]
It's...it's not easy to explain. I've tried to let others in. Maybe they push away. Maybe they leave me and refuse to return. Maybe they just die.
[He even holds his beloved nephew at arm's length. Cheng just knows he can't be close. He's the new sect leader of Jinling Tai now. There's no place for Jiang Cheng at his side. He looks from their joined hands and then up to his husband in name, grief and frustration and desperation clear on his face as his voice is a small croak. He's so tired of being hurt. It's enforced his walls to be indomitable, hasn't it? To think about whittling them down for anyone is terrifying.]
I just don't know how.
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Wu Xi won't push him away or leave. He won't die.
There's hesitation but Wu Xi decides he must be bold. He has to push through the other's fear somehow. He squeezes the other's hand and then he moves closer and then he's straddling the other's lap. ]
Hold me.
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He wraps his arms around Jiang Cheng, closing his eyes. ]
I'm here. I'll always be here.
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Don't promise such things.
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Don't tell me what to do.
[ Wu Xi retorts with a hint of a mischievous smile. ]
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Stubborn brat.
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[ Wu Xi laughs quietly as their foreheads press together and enjoys that intimacy shared between them. He then tilts his head slowly, his lips coming closer to the other's after a few moments. ]
Kiss me.
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Is that so hard?
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Wu Xi soaks in the intimacy, the touch and closeness. he presses in close and his arms are tight as the other kisses him again.
It's not chaste. It's anything but chaste and he moans into the other's mouth as their bodies fit closer together.
He finally unwraps his arms but just to instead drag his hands over the other's stomach and upward over his chest. There's so many layers but he doesn't care. ]
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Suddenly the silks between them are such a hindrance and he's tugging on ties and sashes and it doesn't even register with him that fabric and seams are tearing.
Cheng keeps pressing forward, shifting them to the table and blinding sweeping some of the things away, uncaring of the mess that scatters on the floors. ]
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Wu Xi breaks the kiss briefly, sucking in a few breathes as he holds tight to him. ]
Husband.
[ He breathes, affectionate... wanting. ]
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Mind made up and his senses a little clearer, he moves to rise to his feet. ]
Come with me, A-Xi.
[If this was going to happen, it should be proper. Not in a disastrous mess on the table. There was a perfectly good bed that hadn't been put to proper use,yet.]
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he's still worried as he gets up and follows the other. ]
A-Cheng?
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The next kiss is still open and he awkwardly sweeps his tongue inside the other's mouth, starting to pull away at the other's layers of robes. ]
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His lips part easily for Jiang Cheng, allowing the other in, allowing him to explore and he moans softly at the taste of him on his tongue.
His hand slides down the other's body, to the ties, working them open so that they can be pushed away easily when the other is ready. ]
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Cheng can feel his heart beat in his ears and his legs feel heavy as he combs his fingers through the free, unbraided strands of Wu Xi's hair.
He wasnt expecting it but Cheng falls somewhat heavily on the bed which breaks the current kiss. He moves to scrape his teeth along Wu Xi's jaw with another rough sound coming from him. ]
gently switches to prose bc my brain is working better w it
His eyes are dark as he looks over Jiang Cheng briefly. They flutter close when the teeth move along his jaw and he groans softly.
"Now, I wish I had said something sooner," he murmurs.
fine by me! I prefer it
Cheng curses as he sees sparks when they rub together just right.
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He wants to feel all of him.
The other starts to be more bold himself, Wu Xi moans as the nipple is teased, ass groped and he arches eagerly into his husband's touch. He shifts to push away clothes completely. He's too impatient now.
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Cheng doesn't even really take notice that he's tugging the final thin piece of silk down, rolling so that he's cradled between his husband's legs, mouth travelling over a chest and nipping at a collarbone. He feels like he's been starving all this time and he finally has the opportunity to slacken his hunger.
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Quiet sounds escape him as the other's mouth moves over his body. He reaches out to touch him, to spread his hands over the strength of his shoulders, his arms his back. He wants to touch everywhere.
"So good," he murmurs.
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"It will be better," he murmurs, kneeling up because he needed both hands to deal with the bottle.
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