Alfred for once, isn't completely sure how to interpret the nerve that he knows he's struck. What direction it had come from and if he was treading onto even more dangerous territory. But there were moments when he saw something in Ivar, and despite the whole political angle from his family this is something Alfred knew that he wanted. It still felt hard to ask, he was finding himself frightened about Ivar's answer, his reaction in a way that he hasn't been in some time.
He shifts to move closer to Ivar, watching him carefully as he speaks again. "Could we raise one?"
The idea is not such an odd one to Alfred, after all considering who his real father was and how his basically adopted father had never treated him with anything but love it seems a natural thing to do. "Would you want to?"
Alfred hesitates and it seems he can't stop talking. "My mother keeps saying that we need heirs and even Aethelred started on about it. The alternatives.. I can't imagine you," he flushed a little and there's a shrug. "But even other than that, I think we could be even happier with a child."
Ivar doesn't meet Alfred's eyes. He feels torn inside about how feels about this. Part of him wants to raise a child and become a parent, to know that his legacy is always secure. But part of him is also terrified by the prospect.
He brushes a lock of Alfred's hair back behind his ear when he comes closer. "I...I want to, but..." He tries to put down what he feels into words. "I don't know if I would be able to be a good parent. My mother suffocated me and my father abandoned me for ten years." In other words, Ivar had Issues with a capital I.
At least he knows Alfred would be a good parent. His husband has enough love and compassion within him for ten children.
There's a relief with the way that Ivar touches his hair, and he keeps his eyes on his husband. He can understand the hesitance that he has. He smiles at him, though, because Alfred believes in everything that Ivar could be capable of.
"You would not abandon us and neither would you suffocate anyone either," Alfred says with no hint of doubt in his voice nor his gaze.
Ivar leans in closer to Alfred, the contact grounding him, as it so often does these days. Insanity is always kept at bay with his husband nearby, something that every person in Norway and England was thankful for.
"I wouldn't want to be purposefully cruel, but sometimes it comes out nonetheless." Ivar's temper would be riled and then nothing could stop it. Just ask Sigurd. Could he do that to his own child? He'd like to think not but...he couldn't be certain. At least with Alfred around, that side of him was tempered somewhat.
Alfred reaches to cup the other's cheek, his thumb grazing along his cheekbone.
"You would be a good father. You would have me," Alfred wasn't quite arguing but he knew that Ivar could do it. "I trust you, Ivar. I believe in you... will you at least think about it?"
Ivar melts into his husband's touch. It never fails to thrill him as though it's the first time they've ever touched. It's hard to deny Alfred anything he wants when Ivar feels this way. "Yes. Even if I wasn't a good father, I know that you would be."
Ivar turns his head, pressing a kiss to Alfred's palm. "I will," he promises. "How many would you want?" Ivar's used to a big family having come from one with five brothers in it growing up.
Alfred's eyes light up and he smiles at him, and even after they had been together sometime now, he felt pleasure at the way the other's lips press to his palm. Ivar still always thrilled him and he'd never get used to it.
"I'm not sure," Alfred admitted. "More than one, certainly."
He supposes perhaps it is a strange thing to talk about family in this way.
Alfred's optimism was bleeding over to him now. Maybe everything would turn out alright. There was a chance he could be a good parent no matter what his background had been.
"If it all worked out, I'd like a big family." That had been one of the bright spots in his otherwise hard childhood. Beings surrounded by a bunch of rough and tumble brothers had always cheered him up when he was down and kept him from getting bored.
Alfred smiles at the answer. "I didn't have a big family, you know," Alfred says quietly. Ivar knows by now that his childhood had been a lonely one, even with Aethelred he was often confined to himself or his grandfather's attentions given his tendency to fall ill.
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He shifts to move closer to Ivar, watching him carefully as he speaks again. "Could we raise one?"
The idea is not such an odd one to Alfred, after all considering who his real father was and how his basically adopted father had never treated him with anything but love it seems a natural thing to do. "Would you want to?"
Alfred hesitates and it seems he can't stop talking. "My mother keeps saying that we need heirs and even Aethelred started on about it. The alternatives.. I can't imagine you," he flushed a little and there's a shrug. "But even other than that, I think we could be even happier with a child."
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He brushes a lock of Alfred's hair back behind his ear when he comes closer. "I...I want to, but..." He tries to put down what he feels into words. "I don't know if I would be able to be a good parent. My mother suffocated me and my father abandoned me for ten years." In other words, Ivar had Issues with a capital I.
At least he knows Alfred would be a good parent. His husband has enough love and compassion within him for ten children.
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"You would not abandon us and neither would you suffocate anyone either," Alfred says with no hint of doubt in his voice nor his gaze.
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"I wouldn't want to be purposefully cruel, but sometimes it comes out nonetheless." Ivar's temper would be riled and then nothing could stop it. Just ask Sigurd. Could he do that to his own child? He'd like to think not but...he couldn't be certain. At least with Alfred around, that side of him was tempered somewhat.
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"You would be a good father. You would have me," Alfred wasn't quite arguing but he knew that Ivar could do it. "I trust you, Ivar. I believe in you... will you at least think about it?"
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Ivar turns his head, pressing a kiss to Alfred's palm. "I will," he promises. "How many would you want?" Ivar's used to a big family having come from one with five brothers in it growing up.
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"I'm not sure," Alfred admitted. "More than one, certainly."
He supposes perhaps it is a strange thing to talk about family in this way.
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"If it all worked out, I'd like a big family." That had been one of the bright spots in his otherwise hard childhood. Beings surrounded by a bunch of rough and tumble brothers had always cheered him up when he was down and kept him from getting bored.
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"We will do this then."