"You are the leader," Zhuliu says quietly, he will help him make decisions but in the end they will still be Xichen's to make. He looks down at their hands and squeezes back.
Feeling particularly daring - or, perhaps, more easily able to drop some of his restraint when he has already been on the run, more eager for closeness with the man who he thought he lost before he even had him, perhaps he should remember that his rut is not too far off - he lifts their joined hands up so he can press a kiss to Zhuliu's fingertips.
"And I will be by yours."
In a few years, maybe they can learn each other well enough to find a balance, maybe Lan Xichen will be able to convince him to have a true partnership, but for now this is more than enough.
Wen Zhuliu nods, stepping closer once the other had kissed his fingers. He reaches out and his bicep caressing down to take the other's hand.
"I will fight for you," Zhuliu promises him. There is a war and he knows that much misery and tragedy is to come. He moves closer still their bodies inches apart.
And standing close like this, their hands entwined, he has no chance in resisting the urge to lean in and kiss him. It's soft at first, since he only meant it as a promise for something more, but he rather quickly gets carried away. His breath is coming a little faster when he pulls back.
"I will protect you."
Zhuliu doesn't really need protection, Lan Xichen knows this, but he needs to offer it anyway. He is a sect leader, an alpha, and in the last week he has failed in protecting his family, his sect, his home. He's determined that he won't fail to protect the man who has now risked everything to be with him.
The man almost smiles, a small change in his face expression that's easily
missed, most people only saw a stoic face with no emotions. He returns the
kiss, the kiss that started so soft but as their lips slotted together it
turned into something else. He responds in kind, tasting Xichen until the
kiss ends.
"I know," he says instead of saying he doesn't need Xichen's protection, he
knows that Xichen needs to, that he's an alpha and Wen Zhuliu is the omega
that was to marry him.
For Lan Xichen, who has grown up with a brother who expresses himself in the most minute of facial expressions, he had little trouble noticing the subtle changes in Zhuliu's. That almost smile tells him more than enough, and he finds himself leaning back in to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.
There are no words that could properly express how much it means to him, when Zhuliu does not turn down his protection. At least he can still be worth something.
"Do you know how close any of them are to here?"
Will they have to continue on, or is it safe to stay the night? He isn't tired - he's starting to feel a little bit amped up, actually, perhaps a delayed effect of the adrenaline - but he is aware that stopping to rest will in the long run be more effective than constantly pushing.
Lan Xichen nods in agreement. He should draw up some talismans on the entrance to warn them of anyone approaching, perhaps even seal it off entirely - and yet he finds himself reluctant to pull away from Zhuliu.
He can feel his heart beating faster, a low simmering burn beneath his skin, but it's only when he realizes that he's at war with himself between the equally compelling urges to stand guard at the entrance of the cave in protection and to push Zhuliu up against the wall and kiss him until neither of them can breathe that he understands what's happening.
"I believe I may be about to go into rut. I thought I had more time, but it seems the circumstances have caused it to arrive sooner."
He sounds remarkably calm, for someone who is about to go into rut in a cave in the middle of nowhere, admitting that the stress of having his home destroyed and being on the run from a very powerful enemy has overwhelmed his system.
It takes everything in him not to lean into the touch on his cheek, and instead to let go of Zhuliu's hand. Xichen forces himself to take a step back, locking his hands behind him.
"You should go before it hits. I can - meet up with you in Qinghe, Sect Leader Nie will welcome you if he knows you are with me."
Zhuliu didn't look particularly surprised at the information and it's a dangerous thing to have happen now but it makes sense that it would. He frowns when the other pulls away, telling him to leave. He shakes his head.
"I said I will be by your side," He returns, stepping closer to Xichen again and meeting his eyes as his hands smooth down the other's upper arms.
"You are." His response is immediate, just in case the other has any doubt about whether Xichen still wants the betrothal. And he should step back again, he knows, but he cannot find it in himself to move away.
"I do not want you to feel obligated."
He is not worried that he would hurt Zhuliu - all Lans are taught meditation techniques to dampen the effects of their ruts and heats, and as the heir to the sect he had grown up understanding that this would be even more important for him. He has never had a rut where he had lost himself to such an extent, and even were this the exception, Zhuliu is more than capable of defending himself.
But he is afraid that the other will go along with it only because he has promised to stay by his side, because they are betrothed and it would be expected of him.
"If you are to stay, let it be because you want it, and not because you see it as your duty."
"It is what I've chosen," Zhuliu reminds him, his voice low. He chose Xichen and that meant everything that came with him. He wants to be by his side, he wants all of this.
Xichen pulls in a breath, meant to calm himself - but all it does is fill his lungs with the other's scent, all it does is make him want more. He nods resolutely, letting himself reach out again to curl one hand around the back of Zhuliu's neck and pull him in for a kiss.
"Forgive me," he says quietly. "For needing to be certain."
Nothing in his life is certain, right now, but at least he can have this.
Zhuliu kisses him openly, pressing closer to his alpha. His nose brushes against the other's cheek as Xichen speaks. He can understand the other, why he needs it. "Mm," he acknowledges. He wouldn't have been surprised if at this time Xichen couldn't trust him truly so when the other does say it, he's relieved.
The other going into rut puts them both in vulnerable positions considering the circumstances but Zhuliu does think they have time before anyone would search this way.
There's a hum of satisfaction when Zhuliu presses closer, and he smiles into the kiss. He will make sure that he is worthy of the trust that his omega - his omega - places in him, and he pulls back just enough to sketch a sealing talisman in the air and push it out to cover the entrance. No one will hear them, at least, and even if someone powerful enough to break it finds them, they will have some warning.
Though in all honesty, he can't be sure if it's because he still has enough presence of mind to think tactically, or because his instincts to protect have gotten stronger.
Then he tangles his fingers in Zhuliu's robes, giving an almost playful tug - he can feel the urgency creeping in, but it is not yet strong enough that he can't hold it at bay.
"I would like the first time I see you to be while I am still at least mostly clear headed."
It is a good idea, one that they might end up very grateful for if Zhuliu is wrong. His eyes are on his alpha as the other tugs at his robes, hearing his statement, the request. His hands move to undo his robes deftly, undressing for the other quickly, efficiently and not wasting time trying to tease or any such thing. That would only hasten the other losing his clear head.
The robes are all discarded and he pushes down his trousers to leave his body bare to Xichen's eyes. He didn't think they would do this together so soon. There was still quite a bit of time before they were going to be married but he is still glad it is him here with Xichen and not anyone else and that Xichen isn't alone.
If he was still at all concerned with propriety, he would use this time to take off his own robes, or at least give Zhuliu the space to undress without someone staring hungrily at him.
But he is not, and he watches his omega disrobe with open admiration. He moves in to touch as soon as there's enough bare skin to do so, palms firm but gentle as they slide up his biceps and over his shoulders to sweep down his chest, finally settling around his waist. He feels overheated, and his breath is coming in short, quick bursts.
"Beautiful."
Dimly, he is aware that this is so much sooner than he would have liked, that he wanted to give them the chance to get to know each other in and out, that he had not imagined being consumed with desperation the first time they were together - but it fades with every touch, and suddenly even this is not close enough.
He withdraws only to hurriedly pull off his own robes, kicking off his trousers to leave them in a heap on the cave floor.
As it is, Zhuliu doesn't mind Xichen's eyes on him as he undresses. It's the point isn't it? He's offering his body freely to the other. He inhales as the other touches him, warm hands and they make him shiver. It has been a very long time since someone touched him so intimately, even in the times he gave in to his heat it was a mostly clothed, affair, never intimate. Half the time, it wasn't his idea but an alpha that caught the scent when he happened to be in the Nightless City for it.
This time, it is Xichen and Zhuliu is truly willing to submit fully for the first time. He watches as the other then quickly disrobes and he feels the heat of his body against his own , feeling desire as the scent of Xichen overwhelms him and makes him crave more from him. He is happy in some way that this is happening, although, the circumstances are terrible.
"Xichen," he requests as he noses along the line of Zhuliu's neck, tongue darting out to taste the scent that draws him in so easily. There is little need for titles here.
He has always held himself back - he cannot remember a single time when he has ever truly let go, dropped every bit of his restraint. Xichen is not even certain he can do so, but - if he ever could, it would be with Zhuliu. "I have always meditated during my ruts. I do not know how intense it may be with a partner."
Already it surges restlessly within him, the urge to have his omega desperate and needing under him, to fill him up again and again until they're both satiated and worn out, to surround him until they smell so much like each other no one would question they belong to each other.
He sinks to his knees while he still has the presence of mind to be gentle, pulling the other with him and pushing him back down onto the pile of their robes.
"Xichen," Zhuliu corrects himself, his eyes closing at the attention to his neck, especially sensitive to the other. "However intense, I can handle it," Zhuliu promises him and once he's laying back on their clothes his hands caress along the other's sides. There's still a moment he can focus on exploration before they're lost in the other's rut. His legs had naturally parted for the other to settle between.
Hands continue their touching, over Xichen's stomach and up to his chest, fingers brushing against his nipples.
"I know." There's such an intensity to his words that it almost ends on a growl. His control is slipping, with the reassurance that he doesn't have to hold back, that his omega can handle whatever he is given - and of course he can, had he not already known that they were a match?
"We are known for our restraint in everything," he says, only absently aware of what is coming out of his mouth. "Except in matters of love. I would not have chosen you if I doubted you could."
The muscles in his sides twitch a little under the touch, unused to such contact, and he pushes into Zhuliu's hands with a soft gasp when he reaches his nipples.
"Mine." It sounds wondering, as though he can't quite believe this is really happening, but the moment he says the word it settles beneath his ribs. "Mine," he says again, and this time it's low and possessive, and he sets his teeth against the other's skin, biting into the meat of his shoulder and soothing it with a kiss.
Zhuliu is glad that he can offer this, that he's worthy and strong enough somehow that the other doesn't need to restrain himself. He takes in the parts of the other's body that seem most sensitive though another time he will explore more thoroughly, rut or heat are not the best of times for learning a lover's body. His hands make it back to his shoulders gripping them firmly.
Mine, the word is warm and then the second time it is searing hot and coils an ache of desire through Zhuliu's entire body. He makes a low sound as the other bites into his shoulder, the pain is nothing though it is one that he enjoys, just as much as the soft lips that follow.
There's a hum of approval when the other murmurs in his ear, and Xichen tilts his head up to kiss him again.
Zhuliu is his. Xichen had thought he'd been lost to him - had thought he'd been kept from him, and he will never allow that to happen again. If he had much self awareness at all left, he would know that such thoughts are an easy indicator that his rut is overtaking him, but, well.
The only awareness he has is for the omega underneath him, at the moment.
"Is that what others have done?" he asks, pressing little, biting kisses along the line of his jaw. "Taken what they needed?"
Poor excuses for alphas, are those who take only with a mind for their own pleasure.
Kissing Xichen feels good, right. It's different from anything he's had before because Lan Xichen is different, he's a good man, a good alpha. He is relieved that he had found the other, that he could be here for his rut and for everything else after it as well. He tilts his head as the other kisses along his jaw, closing his eyes as he lets himself be overtaken by it.
"It is the way of the Wen Clan," Zhuliu says simply, His hands caress over the other's sides, to his back feeling the expanse of his strength, the delicious feeling of his skin beneath his fingertips. That the other doesn't have him on his hands and knees give him the opportunity to explore and he takes it while he has it.
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no subject
"But I will be by your side."
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"And I will be by yours."
In a few years, maybe they can learn each other well enough to find a balance, maybe Lan Xichen will be able to convince him to have a true partnership, but for now this is more than enough.
"Thank you."
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"I will fight for you," Zhuliu promises him. There is a war and he knows that much misery and tragedy is to come. He moves closer still their bodies inches apart.
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And standing close like this, their hands entwined, he has no chance in resisting the urge to lean in and kiss him. It's soft at first, since he only meant it as a promise for something more, but he rather quickly gets carried away. His breath is coming a little faster when he pulls back.
"I will protect you."
Zhuliu doesn't really need protection, Lan Xichen knows this, but he needs to offer it anyway. He is a sect leader, an alpha, and in the last week he has failed in protecting his family, his sect, his home. He's determined that he won't fail to protect the man who has now risked everything to be with him.
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The man almost smiles, a small change in his face expression that's easily missed, most people only saw a stoic face with no emotions. He returns the kiss, the kiss that started so soft but as their lips slotted together it turned into something else. He responds in kind, tasting Xichen until the kiss ends.
"I know," he says instead of saying he doesn't need Xichen's protection, he knows that Xichen needs to, that he's an alpha and Wen Zhuliu is the omega that was to marry him.
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There are no words that could properly express how much it means to him, when Zhuliu does not turn down his protection. At least he can still be worth something.
"Do you know how close any of them are to here?"
Will they have to continue on, or is it safe to stay the night? He isn't tired - he's starting to feel a little bit amped up, actually, perhaps a delayed effect of the adrenaline - but he is aware that stopping to rest will in the long run be more effective than constantly pushing.
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"You should rest while there is the opportunity."
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He can feel his heart beating faster, a low simmering burn beneath his skin, but it's only when he realizes that he's at war with himself between the equally compelling urges to stand guard at the entrance of the cave in protection and to push Zhuliu up against the wall and kiss him until neither of them can breathe that he understands what's happening.
"Oh no."
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"What is it?"
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He sounds remarkably calm, for someone who is about to go into rut in a cave in the middle of nowhere, admitting that the stress of having his home destroyed and being on the run from a very powerful enemy has overwhelmed his system.
It takes everything in him not to lean into the touch on his cheek, and instead to let go of Zhuliu's hand. Xichen forces himself to take a step back, locking his hands behind him.
"You should go before it hits. I can - meet up with you in Qinghe, Sect Leader Nie will welcome you if he knows you are with me."
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"I said I will be by your side," He returns, stepping closer to Xichen again and meeting his eyes as his hands smooth down the other's upper arms.
"Am I not your intended?"
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"I do not want you to feel obligated."
He is not worried that he would hurt Zhuliu - all Lans are taught meditation techniques to dampen the effects of their ruts and heats, and as the heir to the sect he had grown up understanding that this would be even more important for him. He has never had a rut where he had lost himself to such an extent, and even were this the exception, Zhuliu is more than capable of defending himself.
But he is afraid that the other will go along with it only because he has promised to stay by his side, because they are betrothed and it would be expected of him.
"If you are to stay, let it be because you want it, and not because you see it as your duty."
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"Does that not tell you?"
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"Forgive me," he says quietly. "For needing to be certain."
Nothing in his life is certain, right now, but at least he can have this.
"I know I can trust you."
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The other going into rut puts them both in vulnerable positions considering the circumstances but Zhuliu does think they have time before anyone would search this way.
"I trust you."
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Though in all honesty, he can't be sure if it's because he still has enough presence of mind to think tactically, or because his instincts to protect have gotten stronger.
Then he tangles his fingers in Zhuliu's robes, giving an almost playful tug - he can feel the urgency creeping in, but it is not yet strong enough that he can't hold it at bay.
"I would like the first time I see you to be while I am still at least mostly clear headed."
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The robes are all discarded and he pushes down his trousers to leave his body bare to Xichen's eyes. He didn't think they would do this together so soon. There was still quite a bit of time before they were going to be married but he is still glad it is him here with Xichen and not anyone else and that Xichen isn't alone.
no subject
But he is not, and he watches his omega disrobe with open admiration. He moves in to touch as soon as there's enough bare skin to do so, palms firm but gentle as they slide up his biceps and over his shoulders to sweep down his chest, finally settling around his waist. He feels overheated, and his breath is coming in short, quick bursts.
"Beautiful."
Dimly, he is aware that this is so much sooner than he would have liked, that he wanted to give them the chance to get to know each other in and out, that he had not imagined being consumed with desperation the first time they were together - but it fades with every touch, and suddenly even this is not close enough.
He withdraws only to hurriedly pull off his own robes, kicking off his trousers to leave them in a heap on the cave floor.
Then he presses back in close.
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This time, it is Xichen and Zhuliu is truly willing to submit fully for the first time. He watches as the other then quickly disrobes and he feels the heat of his body against his own , feeling desire as the scent of Xichen overwhelms him and makes him crave more from him. He is happy in some way that this is happening, although, the circumstances are terrible.
"You do not need to hold back, Zewu jun."
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He has always held himself back - he cannot remember a single time when he has ever truly let go, dropped every bit of his restraint. Xichen is not even certain he can do so, but - if he ever could, it would be with Zhuliu. "I have always meditated during my ruts. I do not know how intense it may be with a partner."
Already it surges restlessly within him, the urge to have his omega desperate and needing under him, to fill him up again and again until they're both satiated and worn out, to surround him until they smell so much like each other no one would question they belong to each other.
He sinks to his knees while he still has the presence of mind to be gentle, pulling the other with him and pushing him back down onto the pile of their robes.
no subject
Hands continue their touching, over Xichen's stomach and up to his chest, fingers brushing against his nipples.
"I am yours."
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"We are known for our restraint in everything," he says, only absently aware of what is coming out of his mouth. "Except in matters of love. I would not have chosen you if I doubted you could."
The muscles in his sides twitch a little under the touch, unused to such contact, and he pushes into Zhuliu's hands with a soft gasp when he reaches his nipples.
"Mine." It sounds wondering, as though he can't quite believe this is really happening, but the moment he says the word it settles beneath his ribs. "Mine," he says again, and this time it's low and possessive, and he sets his teeth against the other's skin, biting into the meat of his shoulder and soothing it with a kiss.
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Mine, the word is warm and then the second time it is searing hot and coils an ache of desire through Zhuliu's entire body. He makes a low sound as the other bites into his shoulder, the pain is nothing though it is one that he enjoys, just as much as the soft lips that follow.
"Yours to take as you need," he murmurs.
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Zhuliu is his. Xichen had thought he'd been lost to him - had thought he'd been kept from him, and he will never allow that to happen again. If he had much self awareness at all left, he would know that such thoughts are an easy indicator that his rut is overtaking him, but, well.
The only awareness he has is for the omega underneath him, at the moment.
"Is that what others have done?" he asks, pressing little, biting kisses along the line of his jaw. "Taken what they needed?"
Poor excuses for alphas, are those who take only with a mind for their own pleasure.
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"It is the way of the Wen Clan," Zhuliu says simply, His hands caress over the other's sides, to his back feeling the expanse of his strength, the delicious feeling of his skin beneath his fingertips. That the other doesn't have him on his hands and knees give him the opportunity to explore and he takes it while he has it.
"But I am yours now."