Jin Ling nods and he lets himself enjoy the way the other tightened his
arms around him. He didn’t want him to let go but he lets the other so they
can go sit.
“Okay,” Jin Ling murmurs, not even sure how he feels or what he thinks. He
knows he doesn’t want to be far away from the other.
Jin Ling leans into Sizhui once the other's arm wraps around his waist and it seems like a safe thing for him to do at least. The other isn't trying to put distance between them after all. He chews at his bottom lip at the question.
"It's not always the same. Somedays my body doesn't really bother me, it...like it doesn't define who I am," Jin Ling's voice is soft. There's very few times he's spoken about things like this and he feels raw and vulnerable opening up to Sizhui about it.
"And then somedays I can't stand any of it, the things that feel like the don't belong," he makes a quick motion to his chest and then toward his lap.
Sizhui doesn't have a need to put distance between them for this, but he would without second thought if he thought it would make things easier for Jin Ling. But he knows it won't.
A nod, and a thoughtful hum as he listens. "It, um. If you tell me it is one of those days, I can avoid drawing attention to - the things that feel like they don't belong."
It's the best he can come up with. But he thinks he can figure out ways.
Sizhui shakes his head, not hesitating, arm tightening a little more.
"I'm not. I am not disgusted. I little confused because such a thing had not occurred to me so I do not know what all of it means, but. At a guess you are also figuring it out. So we can do that together."
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no subject
Jin Ling nods and he lets himself enjoy the way the other tightened his arms around him. He didn’t want him to let go but he lets the other so they can go sit.
“Okay,” Jin Ling murmurs, not even sure how he feels or what he thinks. He knows he doesn’t want to be far away from the other.
no subject
It doesn't take long before he murmurs the first questions.
"So, it... your body isn't the way you need to be, yes? Which parts of that are difficult, and which aren't that bad?"
no subject
"It's not always the same. Somedays my body doesn't really bother me, it...like it doesn't define who I am," Jin Ling's voice is soft. There's very few times he's spoken about things like this and he feels raw and vulnerable opening up to Sizhui about it.
"And then somedays I can't stand any of it, the things that feel like the don't belong," he makes a quick motion to his chest and then toward his lap.
no subject
A nod, and a thoughtful hum as he listens. "It, um. If you tell me it is one of those days, I can avoid drawing attention to - the things that feel like they don't belong."
It's the best he can come up with. But he thinks he can figure out ways.
no subject
"When I've pushed you away... it wasn't that usually. I just... was scared of you finding out and being disgusted by me."
no subject
"I'm not. I am not disgusted. I little confused because such a thing had not occurred to me so I do not know what all of it means, but. At a guess you are also figuring it out. So we can do that together."
no subject
Jin Ling bites at his bottom lip nervously even though the other is giving him words that should reassure him.
“How can you be sure? You’ve never touched... or ,” Jin Ling gestures aimlessly with his free hand. “What if you do and you don’t like it?”
But he does nod... “I’ve been trying to figure it all out for years.”