He lets her think, pick her words carefully. She likes that about him, too.
"So can you." But he doesn't.
Zishu reaches out to rest a hand on his. "I know I can ask for more. But for now, there is nothing more I need. Nor, really, any more that I want at this time."
Should that change, of course she will speak with him.
Jiang Cheng's expression softens into something sadder for a moment. He doesn't know how to ask for more any longer -- how to dream of more for himself. His entire life had become his sect and his nephew and now his nephew is leading his own Sect and the Jiang Sect is flourishing.
He nods in acceptance of her answer, though, satisfied that she would tell him if it changed.
"I..." he starts, awkwardly then. Perhaps he can try a little asking. "I want this," he motions to her and himself. He doesn't know how to talk about his personal wants and emotions and he can already feel the frustration raising -- the kind that usually has him storming off from one person he cares for or another.
Her gaze softens in understanding and she gently turns his hand over to lace their fingers together.
"Show me," she murmurs encouragingly. Sometimes, she knows, words are hard. More often than not she would tease or mock, pushing to get verbal answers. But this is a fragile thing between them still, and she knows how his temper can explode and send him running off.
That wouldn't help either of them now, would it? "I have eaten enough."
There's a moment of surprise at that response. That she doesn't goad him or encourage him to tell her. He feels some of the frustration dimming. He knows even more that this woman is truly the one that is meant for him and he wants her. He's still hesitant, letting their hands stay laced together as his thoughts race for a way to show her.
Even that can be awkward for him. His fingers tighten on hers for a moment before he gently lifts her hand, softly pressing his lips to her knuckles.
They had bedded the night of their wedding but it had not been because of any connection or desire between them but to simply consummate their marriage. They hadn't shared any such intimacy since. It's not about sex even, though, perhaps that is on his mind now and then but the loneliness that she has been breaching that makes him want more. That makes him think that they could be happy together, that he could be happy again.
He doesn't need to say a word. Especially when she can see some of his frustration ease. Even her asking him to show her is hard, she knows this. And realizes it's because he doesn't want to mess this up, doesn't feel he can afford to make mistakes.
Even when he eventually just lifts her hand up to press sweet kisses to her knuckles feels oddly intimate, sending a shiver down her spine. No. They'd made sure to consummate their marriage that night. Neither of them had been willing to risk it on a technicality. But now they can take their time, grow closer before seeing if more can happen between them.
This one kiss to her hand tells her it can. It should be ridiculous and yet -
Running footsteps drag her attention away from her husband, a frown replaces the tender smile. She doesn't try to hold onto his hand, expecting him to recoil, and stands.
"I will return, please stay here," she doesn't look at her husband, already sweeping away with not-so-subtle irritation in the set of her shoulders.
Jiang Cheng had been struggling to think of something to say or something to do once he had pressed his lips to her knuckles. It didn't feel like enough to communicate what he felt, what he meant. He hears the running and there's not an immediate recoil but he pulls his hand back, straightening up as his hand goes to his knee. He doesn't try to stop her, brooding as he watches her moving away.
Something is always happening when he tries to open up to people! Dammit.
If he listens intently enough, he'll probably hear sounds of pain. Brief, but there all the same. Zishu returns quickly enough, after calling for servants to deliver the intruder back to his master.
There's a hard glint in her eyes now though and she holds her hands out to him. "Will you walk with me a bit?" How to ask for a distraction? Help to escape the fury that has latched onto her heels for the first time since coming to Lotus Pier?
Jiang Cheng does hear it and it has a raised brow when Zishu returns. He had been on the verge of stating that he needs to start the business of the day to avoid any awkwardness but also he's very charmed by her at the moment, more so than usual. But...
"I will," he says, getting up and taking her hand with less hesitation than earlier that morning. He tilts his head as he studies her, there's a clear contemplation of whether or not to ask questions but he decides she will tell him what she wants to tell him when she wants to tell him.
She knows they have business to do, the day has to be started properly. And yet he allows her this request. She notices the slighter hesitation as he takes her hand than before, and it helps seep the fury from her bit by bit.
She doesn't respond to that tilt of his head or the question in his eyes. Only holds onto his hand and starts walking. He gives her the gift of silence, of letting her speak first. She might just love him for that.
It still takes a while, longer than usual yet somehow still easier as she relaxes. When she stops, it's by the lotus pond, and she lifts her face to the rising sun, eyes closing as she just breathes for a moment.
"Prince Jin sent a messenger, ordering me to return." She scoffs, lip curling as agitation returns. "The fool believes I'm his soulmate, that he'd realized it after letting me marry you. As if he's qualified to be my soulmate." The last comes almost snarled.
"He should get my answer by next week, depending when the messenger regains consciousness." So there's still a cold note in her quiet voice. Her fury cold and leashed but visible, for once. A peek of who she'd had to be.
Her anger reminds him of his mother -- fierce and strong. Sometimes Zishu's strength makes his heart ache but he admires it and he knows that despite anything he's said when he is younger that a strong and fierce woman is the kind that he needs by his side especially after all that had happened since those younger years. He didn't want someone weaker than him, smaller than him in the ways that mattered. She is his equal. So he isn't bothered by the fury that is quiet but present not as loud as his mother's had been, not as loud as his own. He's comfortable in it.
They walk in silence and it's not uncomfortable even with the unspoken questions and everything. He doesn't let go of her hand when they stop and he just watches her as she turns her face upward. Perhaps he shouldn't stare... But by the time she speaks he shifts his gaze and focuses his attention on her explanation.
The words anger him, they make him want to do something -- anything to Prince Jin. He scowls but he doesn't make an offer to take care of it, she has already taken care of it herself. He still holds her hand admiring this side of Zishu. The glimpse of what necessity had wrought. Necessity had changed him too.
He realizes then that he really must be falling in love with her. He swallows at that, the realization bringing more fear than anything else. The last time he had thought he'd loved someone... He exhales.
Here is a man who doesn't make her bristle in indignation, or insult, or attempt to hide herself. Here is a man who seems to appreciate her strength and intelligence, who doesn't want to repress her.
Even silence when she's working through her fury and he has questions doesn't feel uncomfortable. As her husband, as the head of the Jiang Sect she's married into, he has every right to demand to take care of it all for her.
Instead, she hears that breath, and then the offer to do something. Not a demand. She sighs and turns to him, eyes blinking open to settle on him after a moment. She lifts their joined hands and rests the back of his against her chest, over her heart.
"For now, what you are already doing is enough. If he dares come here in person..." what does she want him to do? Part of her wants to kill Prince Jin and be done with it. But that would only do more damage.
Which leaves one option. "I might have to do something dangerous for Lotus Pier. But he cannot be allowed to continue, though he cannot be killed outright." Dangerous words. But she respects her husband enough to give him this warning. "I know the technique to manage it, and he will let me close enough to do it." Because Prince Jin is nothing if not confident.
Jiang Cheng looks at his hand as it is pulled over her heart while joined with her hand, soft against his own and he can feel the beat of her heart -- steady.
There's a look of concern as she mentions doing something dangerous for Lotus Pier. His instincts scream against that, he can't bear to watch it fall again. But this is his wife and their fates are now twined together and her problems are his problems.
He trusts her judgment.
"Only put Lotus Pier in danger as a last resort," is finally his response. After all, she is a part of Lotus Pier now so her safety is it's safety at the end of the day.
He has every right to be concerned. She hates the thought of this beautiful place being attacked and burned again. The people don't deserve it. Her husband doesn't deserve to lose his home again.
Part of her shudders when he finally answers. Still no chain. Or cage. Her eyes close as she just soaks in that statement, her hand tightens in his. He trusts her.
She nods mutely, then opens her eyes again to gaze intently at him. "I will not allow him to harm you or our home."
Jiang Cheng meets her gaze and he simply nods. He will trust her. "I will be by your side and our people will be behind us," he says simply.
He leans down, pressing his forehead against hers in that moment. Perhaps a more intimate choice than a kiss but it felt right in the moment as he closes his eyes. He hates to think of his home in danger again, his people but they will do what they can to prepare for any potential scenarios and he will support her in whatever way she wants.
And yet somehow, their foreheads resting together is exactly what she needs. Her eyes flutter closed and she relaxes with a sigh. A kiss is just a kiss, in the end. Zishu leans against him, thumb absently rubbing along their entwined fingers pressed between them.
She shifts, letting their noses gently nudge together, letting the quiet moment settle around them.
"I am happy to be your wife. To live here with you." She eventually says, voice much softer now.
Every movement of her thumb is noted, the way she sighs and he memorizes this. He feels safe despite the talk of what dangers may be in the future. He feels safe with her. It's a feeling that is so foreign he doesn't name it right away.
Her admission only strengthens his conclusion. "I am happy to be your husband, to have you by my side," he says quietly.
It's just as foreign to her, and yet she feels it when she's with him. She's tried not to, not quite able to trust it. Too many good things. Too much freedom. No assassination missions.
Just young minds yearning to be taught. A husband to get to know. But his reaction to what she's told him, his admission of what he wants...she feels only one thing can accurately answer that, and tilts her head to seal their lips in a far more tender kiss than what they've shared so far. This time it's a kiss because she wants to kiss her husband. Not because it feels necessary.
Jiang Cheng is shocked by the sudden press of her lips. Perhaps he should have anticipated it... maybe he should have kissed her but this felt right -- her choosing that step. It's gentle and Jiang Cheng kisses her back affectionately if a bit tentatively. He doesn't linger long, the tips of his ears pink and he's highly aware that they are in public view.
She feels that affection when he kisses back. So when it breaks, she's left smiling softly at him, more at peace than before. He'd managed to calm her fury, just by sticking to her side, supporting her. She knows they could be seen, but that wasn't why she'd kissed him.
Her smile brightens at his words. "Then I will." Since she has that permission...but later. When they're in private. What she does do is lean in to nudge their noses together a little, one more time before giving his hand another affectionate squeeze.
"We should start the day...A-Cheng." She knows she will be checking the defenses, drilling the women into what to look for especially in the event of a Window of Heaven attack.
Jiang Cheng smiles as their noses brush together, soaking in this affection and the intimacy of their hands still twined. He is reluctant to move away, to let go of her hand but there is quite a bit to do. He has business to attend to but now he knows there is more danger lurking.
He'll likely be a terror to the young archers later this afternoon.
"Mm. Have supper with me tonight after the day is done."
A smile! She got a smile! It warms her heart, and any possible doubt that might have lingered melts away. She likes this gentle intimacy. The quiet affection. It doesn't need to be loud or obvious.
But they both have disciples to exhaust with training. The invitation has her nod.
"Aah. Gladly." She lifts his hand up, this time it's her turn to press a kiss to his knuckles. But then she pulls away, no matter how reluctant. They have work to do. She lets go and turns to finish preparing for the day, then to work.
The day passes in a whirlwind of activity between them as Lotus Pier begins more preparations for defense and counter attacks than ever before. They have the advantage of having a former leader of an assassin group beating people into shape.
Dinner, in contrast, is a quiet affair, and Zishu makes her way to where she expects to find her husband. Just as promised, and takes her place with a quiet little smile just for him.
Jiang Cheng watches her take her leave first. He's admiring her and maybe allowing himself to let the slight smile linger a while longer. Then his face returns to it's usual stern expression as he sets off to go about his day. It's a long and exhausting day -- plenty of arduous business he could have done without and then pushing his disciples to their limits while making sure not to break them. They don't have time for him to unbreak them after all.
The dinner is a reprieve and he'll let the day slowly ebb away during the quiet meal, eating and drinking wine -- not too much.
She feels his gaze on her as she leaves and it makes her grin to herself, but she doesn't let herself turn and look back at him.
At dinner, for once she moderates how much she drinks. One bottle. The rest is tea. She admires that little smile she knows is just for her. And it sends a thrill through her that she's used to only really experiencing in battle. Somehow she doubts they'll be sleeping alone tonight.
She's content to let the silence settle over them, she's never been much of one to speak during mealtime, preferring to observe as she eats and drinks.
Jiang Cheng is nervous throughout the meal and he refuses to acknowledge that fact at all. His gaze frequently lingers on Zishu, admiring her and too worrying over the possible dark clouds that would be hanging over Lotus Pier for a while.
And yet he can't feel too weighed down at the same time.
He doesn't have to acknowledge anything for her to know just by how frequent he glances at her. But it's a comforting feeling, to have him watch her. Even with the trouble likely looming over them and their home.
Finishing her meal just as he speaks up, she turns her attention to him with the sense of calm, of peace, over her, though she doesn't quite smile.
"I did. The kitchen staff are very good." Now she lets herself smile, just a little, and her voice quiets. "And I enjoy the company I have."
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"So can you." But he doesn't.
Zishu reaches out to rest a hand on his. "I know I can ask for more. But for now, there is nothing more I need. Nor, really, any more that I want at this time."
Should that change, of course she will speak with him.
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He nods in acceptance of her answer, though, satisfied that she would tell him if it changed.
"I..." he starts, awkwardly then. Perhaps he can try a little asking. "I want this," he motions to her and himself. He doesn't know how to talk about his personal wants and emotions and he can already feel the frustration raising -- the kind that usually has him storming off from one person he cares for or another.
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Her gaze softens in understanding and she gently turns his hand over to lace their fingers together.
"Show me," she murmurs encouragingly. Sometimes, she knows, words are hard. More often than not she would tease or mock, pushing to get verbal answers. But this is a fragile thing between them still, and she knows how his temper can explode and send him running off.
That wouldn't help either of them now, would it? "I have eaten enough."
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Even that can be awkward for him. His fingers tighten on hers for a moment before he gently lifts her hand, softly pressing his lips to her knuckles.
They had bedded the night of their wedding but it had not been because of any connection or desire between them but to simply consummate their marriage. They hadn't shared any such intimacy since. It's not about sex even, though, perhaps that is on his mind now and then but the loneliness that she has been breaching that makes him want more. That makes him think that they could be happy together, that he could be happy again.
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Even when he eventually just lifts her hand up to press sweet kisses to her knuckles feels oddly intimate, sending a shiver down her spine. No. They'd made sure to consummate their marriage that night. Neither of them had been willing to risk it on a technicality. But now they can take their time, grow closer before seeing if more can happen between them.
This one kiss to her hand tells her it can. It should be ridiculous and yet -
Running footsteps drag her attention away from her husband, a frown replaces the tender smile. She doesn't try to hold onto his hand, expecting him to recoil, and stands.
"I will return, please stay here," she doesn't look at her husband, already sweeping away with not-so-subtle irritation in the set of her shoulders.
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Something is always happening when he tries to open up to people! Dammit.
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There's a hard glint in her eyes now though and she holds her hands out to him. "Will you walk with me a bit?" How to ask for a distraction? Help to escape the fury that has latched onto her heels for the first time since coming to Lotus Pier?
It comes no easier for her than it does for him.
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"I will," he says, getting up and taking her hand with less hesitation than earlier that morning. He tilts his head as he studies her, there's a clear contemplation of whether or not to ask questions but he decides she will tell him what she wants to tell him when she wants to tell him.
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She doesn't respond to that tilt of his head or the question in his eyes. Only holds onto his hand and starts walking. He gives her the gift of silence, of letting her speak first. She might just love him for that.
It still takes a while, longer than usual yet somehow still easier as she relaxes. When she stops, it's by the lotus pond, and she lifts her face to the rising sun, eyes closing as she just breathes for a moment.
"Prince Jin sent a messenger, ordering me to return." She scoffs, lip curling as agitation returns. "The fool believes I'm his soulmate, that he'd realized it after letting me marry you. As if he's qualified to be my soulmate." The last comes almost snarled.
"He should get my answer by next week, depending when the messenger regains consciousness." So there's still a cold note in her quiet voice. Her fury cold and leashed but visible, for once. A peek of who she'd had to be.
Someone ruthless and cruel when necessary.
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They walk in silence and it's not uncomfortable even with the unspoken questions and everything. He doesn't let go of her hand when they stop and he just watches her as she turns her face upward. Perhaps he shouldn't stare... But by the time she speaks he shifts his gaze and focuses his attention on her explanation.
The words anger him, they make him want to do something -- anything to Prince Jin. He scowls but he doesn't make an offer to take care of it, she has already taken care of it herself. He still holds her hand admiring this side of Zishu. The glimpse of what necessity had wrought. Necessity had changed him too.
He realizes then that he really must be falling in love with her. He swallows at that, the realization bringing more fear than anything else. The last time he had thought he'd loved someone... He exhales.
"What would you have me do, if anything?"
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Even silence when she's working through her fury and he has questions doesn't feel uncomfortable. As her husband, as the head of the Jiang Sect she's married into, he has every right to demand to take care of it all for her.
Instead, she hears that breath, and then the offer to do something. Not a demand. She sighs and turns to him, eyes blinking open to settle on him after a moment. She lifts their joined hands and rests the back of his against her chest, over her heart.
"For now, what you are already doing is enough. If he dares come here in person..." what does she want him to do? Part of her wants to kill Prince Jin and be done with it. But that would only do more damage.
Which leaves one option. "I might have to do something dangerous for Lotus Pier. But he cannot be allowed to continue, though he cannot be killed outright." Dangerous words. But she respects her husband enough to give him this warning. "I know the technique to manage it, and he will let me close enough to do it." Because Prince Jin is nothing if not confident.
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There's a look of concern as she mentions doing something dangerous for Lotus Pier. His instincts scream against that, he can't bear to watch it fall again. But this is his wife and their fates are now twined together and her problems are his problems.
He trusts her judgment.
"Only put Lotus Pier in danger as a last resort," is finally his response. After all, she is a part of Lotus Pier now so her safety is it's safety at the end of the day.
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Part of her shudders when he finally answers. Still no chain. Or cage. Her eyes close as she just soaks in that statement, her hand tightens in his. He trusts her.
She nods mutely, then opens her eyes again to gaze intently at him. "I will not allow him to harm you or our home."
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He leans down, pressing his forehead against hers in that moment. Perhaps a more intimate choice than a kiss but it felt right in the moment as he closes his eyes. He hates to think of his home in danger again, his people but they will do what they can to prepare for any potential scenarios and he will support her in whatever way she wants.
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She shifts, letting their noses gently nudge together, letting the quiet moment settle around them.
"I am happy to be your wife. To live here with you." She eventually says, voice much softer now.
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Her admission only strengthens his conclusion. "I am happy to be your husband, to have you by my side," he says quietly.
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Just young minds yearning to be taught. A husband to get to know. But his reaction to what she's told him, his admission of what he wants...she feels only one thing can accurately answer that, and tilts her head to seal their lips in a far more tender kiss than what they've shared so far. This time it's a kiss because she wants to kiss her husband. Not because it feels necessary.
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"You should do that more often," he says.
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Her smile brightens at his words. "Then I will." Since she has that permission...but later. When they're in private. What she does do is lean in to nudge their noses together a little, one more time before giving his hand another affectionate squeeze.
"We should start the day...A-Cheng." She knows she will be checking the defenses, drilling the women into what to look for especially in the event of a Window of Heaven attack.
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He'll likely be a terror to the young archers later this afternoon.
"Mm. Have supper with me tonight after the day is done."
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But they both have disciples to exhaust with training. The invitation has her nod.
"Aah. Gladly." She lifts his hand up, this time it's her turn to press a kiss to his knuckles. But then she pulls away, no matter how reluctant. They have work to do. She lets go and turns to finish preparing for the day, then to work.
The day passes in a whirlwind of activity between them as Lotus Pier begins more preparations for defense and counter attacks than ever before. They have the advantage of having a former leader of an assassin group beating people into shape.
Dinner, in contrast, is a quiet affair, and Zishu makes her way to where she expects to find her husband. Just as promised, and takes her place with a quiet little smile just for him.
"Husband," she murmurs her greeting.
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The dinner is a reprieve and he'll let the day slowly ebb away during the quiet meal, eating and drinking wine -- not too much.
"Wife," there's a hint of a smile barely.
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At dinner, for once she moderates how much she drinks. One bottle. The rest is tea. She admires that little smile she knows is just for her. And it sends a thrill through her that she's used to only really experiencing in battle. Somehow she doubts they'll be sleeping alone tonight.
She's content to let the silence settle over them, she's never been much of one to speak during mealtime, preferring to observe as she eats and drinks.
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And yet he can't feel too weighed down at the same time.
"Did you enjoy the food?" he asks her.
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Finishing her meal just as he speaks up, she turns her attention to him with the sense of calm, of peace, over her, though she doesn't quite smile.
"I did. The kitchen staff are very good." Now she lets herself smile, just a little, and her voice quiets. "And I enjoy the company I have."
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