[ Wu Xi says quietly and he knows that his worries about their marriage being nullified are also irrational -- it does not fit with Jiang Cheng's character but, Wu Xi is the one in the foreign land. Surrounded by people who do not quite accept him.
He's quiet as the other continues to speak after that. He looks up at him, their eyes meeting. ]
[So, maybe he has some idea where to start. They are sitting across from each other with a table of food. Cheng stands and slowly moves around the table, chair in tow. When he sits again, he's beside Wu Xi. ]
You say things so boldly.
[Not a tease or admonishment. Simple fact.]
A-Jie raised us more than our parents did. I wanted to protect a girl and she refused that help. And I spent so much time rebuilding Lotus Pier after it had been sacked by Qishan Wen. I did it alone because I didn't want the other sects to think they would have a part of it and could have a say in what happens. The one man whom I thought I could rely on was too busy with his own machinations and... put on a front that he was too stupid to do so. I sacrificed a part of my land so that I could still see A-Ling and have him while he was growing up, if only a season at a time.
Wu Xi, I-- [He's lonely too. But he's not brave enough to admit it. Instead, he prepares a bowl of food, taking the best bits he sees, and then offers it to Wu Xi, his hands cupping the dish.]
This isn't a war. It isn't a rebuild from devastation. This isn't a hunt for evil. I truly don't know what I am supposed to do. Or what is expected from me.
[ Wu Xi worries for a moment that Jiang Cheng is about to walk out. But no... he just moves his chair. His eyes follow every movement he makes and he tilts his head as he listens intently, gaze intent as it usually is. He swallows by the end of it... not quite sure what he should say. He wants to reach out and touch him and his heart aches for all the other man has endured.
He hesitantly reaches out to accept the bowl with the hand that is snake free. Despite how small that snake is it is still dangerous and he doesn't want any harm to come to Jiang Cheng. ]
[He can't help but scoff at that. He has to think hard because... well because most of his decisions have been abyssmal. There really hasn't been anyone to guide him. But he nods, letting Wu Xi have his portion and then goes to take his own sticks for his meal.
Cheng doesn't eat much. His nerves are making his stomach protest food. And yes, he's still thinking and not looking forward to...talking. ]
[ Wu Xi eats and then once he finishes he pulls up the sleeve that had the snake. He tenderly coaxes it to uncurl around him so he can set it down. He has intentions to be close to Jiang Cheng and he doesn't want to worry.
He knows his husband is already done though he can't understand why he would be satisfied eating so little -- it is his fault.
Wu Xi furrows his brow briefly before reaching over, his hands aren't completely soft, he is trained in using a sword after all and is an admirable fighter but his hands aren't so calloused as most warriors. ]
[ The touch startles Cheng a bit and he looks up. He wasn't ready for that statement. He didn't think he was projecting so much on his face. He really thought he was better at hiding his thoughts and realizes belatedly that he wasn't wearing his usual scowl. ]
I didn't say I would.
[It's defensive. Even the way he straightens his back. But he doesn't remove Wu Xi's touch. There were countless ways that he could lose the other and many of them involuntary. And it's only now that he realizes that he really doesn't want to lose Wu Xi, either.
It shows in the way his jaw tightens and his eyes squint a little more. ]
[ Between the other's words and his actions, Wu Xi can understand a lot about him. He's not as stoic as he seems. There's more to him than anger. Wu Xi hesitates whether he should withdraw his touch but he lets it linger. ]
[Which, of course, makes it sound like Cheng has no concept of intimacy. He growls at himself in frustration. ]
It's...it's not easy to explain. I've tried to let others in. Maybe they push away. Maybe they leave me and refuse to return. Maybe they just die.
[He even holds his beloved nephew at arm's length. Cheng just knows he can't be close. He's the new sect leader of Jinling Tai now. There's no place for Jiang Cheng at his side. He looks from their joined hands and then up to his husband in name, grief and frustration and desperation clear on his face as his voice is a small croak. He's so tired of being hurt. It's enforced his walls to be indomitable, hasn't it? To think about whittling them down for anyone is terrifying.]
[ In truth, such things are easier said than done and Wu Xi doesn't know how to even explain it to Jiang Cheng. He doesn't like that he's frustrating the other, upsetting him. He shakes his head at the other's words, though.
Wu Xi won't push him away or leave. He won't die.
There's hesitation but Wu Xi decides he must be bold. He has to push through the other's fear somehow. He squeezes the other's hand and then he moves closer and then he's straddling the other's lap. ]
[Out of all the scenarios Cheng thought would happen, this wasn't one of them. For a full minute, he looks at Wu Xi in shock, his hands on the other's thighs, neither pulling closer nor pushing away. And then finally he relaxes, hands sliding up and around as Cheng leans his head forward against Wu Xi's shoulder. There's still tension in him, but it shudders out of him in small increments until he's clinging to his husband in name, taking in the other's scent in long draughts of air. ]
[ Wu Xi knows that the other definitely hadn't expected it and he had been prepared to be pushed away and scolded or worse. He leans in to press a kiss to the other's jaw, hesitant and then just relaxes against the other as the other's headrests on his shoulder and he's held by his husband like this for the first time.
He wraps his arms around Jiang Cheng, closing his eyes. ]
[ A small, choked sound comes from him. Promises he knows shouldn't be made. When he pulls his head back to look at Wu Xi, his eyes are wet and glassy. ]
[ Wu Xi hesitates and he doesn't take it back, doesn't apologize even as he meets the other's eyes. His hand comes up, cupping the other's cheek with his slender fingers. ]
Don't tell me what to do.
[ Wu Xi retorts with a hint of a mischievous smile. ]
[ Cheng does what is comfortable for him. A tsk, a roll of his eyes, and then he's resting his forehead against the other's. He's half afraid he's going to be pushed away even though Wu Xi has done nothing of the sort and in fact was more than inviting. His voice is low and the words are muttered almost sullenly.]
[ Wu Xi laughs quietly as their foreheads press together and enjoys that intimacy shared between them. He then tilts his head slowly, his lips coming closer to the other's after a few moments. ]
[ There is a moment's hesitation as a dozen questions zip through his head. Most of them about his own insecurity. However, he meets the distance, pressing his lips against Wu Xi's in a kiss that felt exhilarating to him even though his mind chided him in the chastity of it. ]
[ Wu Xi didn't know how Jiang Cheng would respond. He's taking a risk. But the risk would be worth it if it paid off. He inhales sharply when their lips do meet. It might be chaste but Wu Xi's arms tighten around the other man. He scoots closer to him on his lap, his legs wrapping and hooking behind the other. They're close, so close. ]
[He had parted just enough for the words to pass. He can practically feel the warmth of the other surround him. In just that moment, something breaks free and he dives in for another kiss, desperate and hungry. His hands shift back to Wu Xi's hips and pull him closer, making a needy sound in the process. ]
[ This is a victory. Even if this is all that happens right now it is a victory.
Wu Xi soaks in the intimacy, the touch and closeness. he presses in close and his arms are tight as the other kisses him again.
It's not chaste. It's anything but chaste and he moans into the other's mouth as their bodies fit closer together.
He finally unwraps his arms but just to instead drag his hands over the other's stomach and upward over his chest. There's so many layers but he doesn't care. ]
[ His inhale is loud as his body arched at the touch. He's just as starved for touch and intimacy but would never, ever admit to it. Even to himself.
Suddenly the silks between them are such a hindrance and he's tugging on ties and sashes and it doesn't even register with him that fabric and seams are tearing.
Cheng keeps pressing forward, shifting them to the table and blinding sweeping some of the things away, uncaring of the mess that scatters on the floors. ]
[ Wu Xi still is expecting to suddenly be pushed away, to see a flash of Jiang Cheng's anger but instead the clothes are being shed... shred in some instances and then the dishes clatter.
Wu Xi breaks the kiss briefly, sucking in a few breathes as he holds tight to him. ]
[It's that one word, his new status, that brings him out of his stupor. Should they really be doing this on the table? Dinner is-was...on there! And it seemed sacrilegious to do something like this...like a common whore.
Mind made up and his senses a little clearer, he moves to rise to his feet. ]
Come with me, A-Xi.
[If this was going to happen, it should be proper. Not in a disastrous mess on the table. There was a perfectly good bed that hadn't been put to proper use,yet.]
[ Wu Xi is surprised when the other suddenly stops, getting up. He's about to protest. He didn't want to lose this closeness -- what had he done wrong?
he's still worried as he gets up and follows the other. ]
[ As he moves towards the bed, he can feel his nerves ramping up and almost stops himself. He still doesn't feel worthy and is worried that this was a mistake. Cheng tries to hide all of that from his face and reaches out to pull Wu Xi in. He doesn't stop until their flush together and a small sound comes from him.
The next kiss is still open and he awkwardly sweeps his tongue inside the other's mouth, starting to pull away at the other's layers of robes. ]
[ The worries that Wu Xi has that this is going to stop fade away as he's pulled into another kiss, pulled closer. He moans softly as he feels the other's body against his own and he reaches up to cup the other's cheek as he kisses him.
His lips part easily for Jiang Cheng, allowing the other in, allowing him to explore and he moans softly at the taste of him on his tongue.
His hand slides down the other's body, to the ties, working them open so that they can be pushed away easily when the other is ready. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fishtanks) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
secureserver2020-08-19 02:14 pm
no subject
[ Wu Xi says quietly and he knows that his worries about their marriage being nullified are also irrational -- it does not fit with Jiang Cheng's character but, Wu Xi is the one in the foreign land. Surrounded by people who do not quite accept him.
He's quiet as the other continues to speak after that. He looks up at him, their eyes meeting. ]
I am close to you already by being your spouse.
[ Wu Xi looks at him with a bit of longing. ]
I'm lonely. I...
[ He wishes he could take the words back. ]
You have no idea where to start?
no subject
You say things so boldly.
[Not a tease or admonishment. Simple fact.]
A-Jie raised us more than our parents did. I wanted to protect a girl and she refused that help. And I spent so much time rebuilding Lotus Pier after it had been sacked by Qishan Wen. I did it alone because I didn't want the other sects to think they would have a part of it and could have a say in what happens. The one man whom I thought I could rely on was too busy with his own machinations and... put on a front that he was too stupid to do so. I sacrificed a part of my land so that I could still see A-Ling and have him while he was growing up, if only a season at a time.
Wu Xi, I-- [He's lonely too. But he's not brave enough to admit it. Instead, he prepares a bowl of food, taking the best bits he sees, and then offers it to Wu Xi, his hands cupping the dish.]
This isn't a war. It isn't a rebuild from devastation. This isn't a hunt for evil. I truly don't know what I am supposed to do. Or what is expected from me.
no subject
He hesitantly reaches out to accept the bowl with the hand that is snake free. Despite how small that snake is it is still dangerous and he doesn't want any harm to come to Jiang Cheng. ]
You think about it too hard.
[ Wu Xi looks down and he smiles. ]
Let's eat and then talk more.
no subject
Cheng doesn't eat much. His nerves are making his stomach protest food. And yes, he's still thinking and not looking forward to...talking. ]
no subject
He knows his husband is already done though he can't understand why he would be satisfied eating so little -- it is his fault.
Wu Xi furrows his brow briefly before reaching over, his hands aren't completely soft, he is trained in using a sword after all and is an admirable fighter but his hands aren't so calloused as most warriors. ]
You will not lose me.
no subject
I didn't say I would.
[It's defensive. Even the way he straightens his back. But he doesn't remove Wu Xi's touch. There were countless ways that he could lose the other and many of them involuntary. And it's only now that he realizes that he really doesn't want to lose Wu Xi, either.
It shows in the way his jaw tightens and his eyes squint a little more. ]
no subject
Mm.
[ Wu Xi breathes and he's nervous. ]
Let me be your spouse in more than just words.
no subject
[Which, of course, makes it sound like Cheng has no concept of intimacy. He growls at himself in frustration. ]
It's...it's not easy to explain. I've tried to let others in. Maybe they push away. Maybe they leave me and refuse to return. Maybe they just die.
[He even holds his beloved nephew at arm's length. Cheng just knows he can't be close. He's the new sect leader of Jinling Tai now. There's no place for Jiang Cheng at his side. He looks from their joined hands and then up to his husband in name, grief and frustration and desperation clear on his face as his voice is a small croak. He's so tired of being hurt. It's enforced his walls to be indomitable, hasn't it? To think about whittling them down for anyone is terrifying.]
I just don't know how.
no subject
Wu Xi won't push him away or leave. He won't die.
There's hesitation but Wu Xi decides he must be bold. He has to push through the other's fear somehow. He squeezes the other's hand and then he moves closer and then he's straddling the other's lap. ]
Hold me.
no subject
no subject
He wraps his arms around Jiang Cheng, closing his eyes. ]
I'm here. I'll always be here.
no subject
Don't promise such things.
no subject
Don't tell me what to do.
[ Wu Xi retorts with a hint of a mischievous smile. ]
no subject
Stubborn brat.
no subject
[ Wu Xi laughs quietly as their foreheads press together and enjoys that intimacy shared between them. He then tilts his head slowly, his lips coming closer to the other's after a few moments. ]
Kiss me.
no subject
no subject
Is that so hard?
no subject
no subject
Wu Xi soaks in the intimacy, the touch and closeness. he presses in close and his arms are tight as the other kisses him again.
It's not chaste. It's anything but chaste and he moans into the other's mouth as their bodies fit closer together.
He finally unwraps his arms but just to instead drag his hands over the other's stomach and upward over his chest. There's so many layers but he doesn't care. ]
no subject
Suddenly the silks between them are such a hindrance and he's tugging on ties and sashes and it doesn't even register with him that fabric and seams are tearing.
Cheng keeps pressing forward, shifting them to the table and blinding sweeping some of the things away, uncaring of the mess that scatters on the floors. ]
no subject
Wu Xi breaks the kiss briefly, sucking in a few breathes as he holds tight to him. ]
Husband.
[ He breathes, affectionate... wanting. ]
no subject
Mind made up and his senses a little clearer, he moves to rise to his feet. ]
Come with me, A-Xi.
[If this was going to happen, it should be proper. Not in a disastrous mess on the table. There was a perfectly good bed that hadn't been put to proper use,yet.]
no subject
he's still worried as he gets up and follows the other. ]
A-Cheng?
no subject
The next kiss is still open and he awkwardly sweeps his tongue inside the other's mouth, starting to pull away at the other's layers of robes. ]
no subject
His lips part easily for Jiang Cheng, allowing the other in, allowing him to explore and he moans softly at the taste of him on his tongue.
His hand slides down the other's body, to the ties, working them open so that they can be pushed away easily when the other is ready. ]
(no subject)
gently switches to prose bc my brain is working better w it
fine by me! I prefer it
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)