[ NSFW Open Post - 2021 ]

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[equivocations]

"Not to worry, I'll take care of you." He presses a kiss to the top of his little mate's head, nuzzling into him for a moment longer before he looks up.

"Enough, Wangji - let him finish breakfast first, then you can drink your fill."

Huaisang is having their children, after all, he needs to get his strength up - and he needs Xichen to have a softer touch with him, until he gets used to all of this. Until he ends up begging for more rather than thinking it's too much.

Wangji looks unimpressed, but he obeys, detaching his milking tentacles. Xichen immediately replaces them with his own tiny suction tentacles - though he doesn't do anything with them, just letting them attach to Huaisang's nipples to prevent milk from leaking out and spilling over his clothes.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang breathes a sigh of relief at Xichen's words even if it means there will be more from Wangji before long. He's still embarrassed to be shared this way. He keeps his gaze lowered and draws his head up. He would have covered himself again but the other's tentacles were so quick to attach that he didn't have time. There's at least the relief that they aren't sucking and the tender nipples get some relief. He still doesn't know what to make of how Wangji had made him feel. Between his legs he's aching but he ignores it.

He's quiet as he reaches for the spoon and takes a few bites before drinking more of the tea and avoiding looking at Wangji at all costs. His free hand presses between his legs as if trying to alleviate some of the tension and need for stimulation without really stimulating himself all that much, just a hard press of his hand.

[equivocations]

Ah - his little mate is so adorably shy. Xichen can't wait to see him come out of his shell more as he gets used to living here. Perhaps he should invite Huaisang's brother sooner rather than later - a familiar face may help him adjust.

There's a little smile when he notices Huaisang press his hand between his legs - not like stroking a cock, but more as he would if he needed to relieve some tension to a pussy and clit. "Such a perfect mate I have," he murmurs, gently pushing aside Huaisang's hand with one of his tentacles. "Here, allow me."

The tip of his little flanged tentacle slips back inside Huaisang's tiny cock, and then the tentacle itself coils up, applying just a little bit of pressure as Huaisang's hand had been.

"Would you like to see the gardens today, A-Sang? The blooms should be lovely, and the birds starting to re-emerge now that the storm has passed. Or perhaps you would like to go into the nearest town, and I can purchase you more modern clothing and adornments?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang whimpers a little when the other is replacing his hand with the tentacle. He squirms as it presses inside of him and then there's just enough pressure to give some stimulation but this way it feels all the more teasing and his ears go pink as he tries to focus on eating the food that Wangji had prepared. He's a little more hesitant to drink now with the tentacle pressed into his bladder, knowing how that could escalate.

He swallows a spoonful of the congee and he doesn't really have to think about his answer. He loved gardens but he's also eager to get more modern clothing to wear but... He squirms a little and looks down at himself.

"I...can't... looking like this," for people to see him with a swollen belly, with breasts? It would be humiliating. He's a man and yet looking at him in this situation no one would see him that way.

[equivocations]

Cute. He can't help pressing tiny kisses to the pink tips of Huaisang's ears, soft and affectionate.

He frowns a little at Huaisang's answer. If his mate truly didn't want to go into town, of course they wouldn't - he could always go alone, if he needed to, even though he would much prefer to have his mate by his side. But he doesn't like the idea of it being because of the way Huaisang looks.

"Why not? You are lovely, can you not see it?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang shook his head and he sets the spoon down, flushing all the more. "People wouldn't see me as a man," he says quietly. Mingjue would be ashamed of him, regardless of what Xichen thought, Huaisang knew it. He struggles to even see himself as a man currently between the changes to his body and the way that Xichen has spoken to him, has touched him...

Even now, there's a tentacle pressed inside of his cock like a cock would press inside of a woman.

"And if anyone were to recognize me..."

Huaisang shook his head and his appetite has waned -- not quite sated but the desire to eat fading and he fingers the tea lightly without drinking.

[equivocations]

Oh, no. His heart aches for his little mate, apparently so concerned about this. He looks up at Wangji, a silent communication passing between them, and then his brother stands and gives a bow.

"I will go fetch more water from the cold springs."

The pitcher is only half empty, but Xichen still appreciates the effort, as Wangji leaves them alone to discuss things.

Xichen turns his attention entirely on Huaisang, arms wrapping around him and hugging him close. "Can you help me understand?" he asks quietly. "Are you afraid they would think poorly of you, or do you think poorly of it yourself?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang easily reads that that had just been an excuse for Wangji to leave them alone for a bit. He doesn't look at either of them and still not at Xichen after the other brother made his exit. He does appreciate that they can speak in private and that he doesn't have to feel judgmental eyes on him for this.

"I'm not a woman," Huaisang says, his jaw tensing and he's relatively tempted to push away the other's arms but he doesn't. "Even if you treat me as such, I'm not."

His hands curl slightly into fists.

"If anyone were to see me and recognize who I am it would bring shame on my clan." Huaisang is sure of it that his brother wouldn't be pleased to see his breasts swollen with milk and his stomach full of Xichen's eggs. Huaisang isn't even sure he understands what will happen, what kind of children...how many because it had felt like so many eggs and he felt so full.

[equivocations]

That makes Xichen's brows furrow in even more concern. It... hurts, a little, that Huaisang thinks of this as shameful. It must be a human thing, he tells himself - others in his clan have had human mates who didn't quite understand, and he'd known it would take a while for Huaisang to get use to all of this.

Perhaps this is something he can try to soothe his concerns over, if he tries harder to understand it, to push past his own hurt feelings and the sudden fear that Huaisang doesn't want him.

"I would never want to bring shame to you or your clan," he says hesitantly. His uncertainty is reflected in his tentacles - they writhe restlessly, and he gets them to settle by allowing them to wrap around Huaisang and gently turn him to face him. He cups the side of his face in one hand, thumb stroking over his cheekbone.

"Is being a woman or being with child shameful, in the eyes of your clan?" There's a moment's pause, then he adds even more tentatively, "Is it because of being with me?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang feels guilty as the other's tentacles become restless and he knows that it's his fault. He bites down on his lip, head lowering but he doesn't resist being wrapped up in them even if he's slow to lift his gaze toward his face as he's turned around and the other's touch to his face soothes him.

"Neither....it's..." Huaisang sighs, looking away. But there were expectations of members of the Nie clan that every person fulfills their role. It's strict. Huaisang's role is not to be a woman with child. He's a male heir, his brother had pushed him to train with his saber, to meet the expectations of his position and now this is so far from what is expected of his role and far closer to a fantasy that Huaisang had always had and had always known to be ashamed of.

"My brother wouldn't approve."

And Xichen is so convinced that isn't true but Huaisang is far from sure of that.

[equivocations]

He can't help the way he relaxes a little, at hearing that it isn't him or their children that Huaisang is ashamed of. And immediately feels a little guilty that he had made it at all about him, when it is his mate who is so upset.

Xichen tips his head down to kiss him, soft and sweet.

Huaisang must love his brother very much, to be so worried about his approval. Xichen finds it difficult to believe that anyone could not love him like this, particularly not if his brother is worthy of this love, but he understands how you can love someone so much and worry that you will not have their approval at the same time.

"I know what it feels like to have expectations on you, and to be afraid you will not meet them," he says quietly. "But, A-Sang - what do you want?"

[eternalgrief]

Mingjue is far too attached to his older brother, he's the only family he has left and he had done a fair bit of raising Huaisang. Even if they fought and thought differently... Huaisang loves him. He returns the kiss and then rests his head on the other's shoulder, his brow furrowing some still.

"I never really meet his expectations," Huaisang mutters. That's long been a fact.

"What do you mean what do I want?"

Mingjue had been drilling into his head that what he wanted didn't really matter because he was the heir to the Nie Clan.

[equivocations]

Oh.

He can't stop his tentacles from holding him closer at that, a few of them rubbing over his back as though they should sooth away the hurt that must make him feel even though he knows it isn't the kind of pain that can be soothed away.

His heart breaks a little when Huaisang has to ask what he means by that. Oh, Xichen understands having a duty, and sacrificing what one wants for the good of those he's responsible for, but Huaisang is his mate now. He shouldn't have to sacrifice what he wants, not if there's any way Xichen can make them happen.

"Has no one ever asked you that and wanted to know the answer?" His hands run through Huaisang's hair. "I do. What do you want, my mate, what makes you happy?"

[eternalgrief]

In a way, the other did comfort him. his tentacles against Huaisang's back and he allowed it to be a comfort and to relax him. He calms a little more. Despite never being able to meet Mingjue's expectations, he desperately misses him now. But at least he's not alone -- even though, it means that Mingjue is.

There's an exhale and he shakes his head but what he wanted had always been clear -- and at some point, Mingjue had completely supported him.

"Art...birds, books..." Huaisang murmurs and he feels a bit silly adding in luxury despite how accurate it would be. What he likes is not the makings of a Sect Leader, much less the Sect Leader of the Nie Sect.

[equivocations]

"A-Sang," he says quietly, leaning down to kiss him.

He doesn't understand how such things could have been denied him - though, he supposes he can, when he's known that there've been many humans who saw such things as luxuries, frivolities. Things that one could not afford to waste time or money on.

"You're my mate now. You have full access to the Library Pavillion, and if you cannot find what you want there, you can have a wing to fill for yourself. We can build you an aviary for any birds you could want, a gallery for your art - we can paint together, my love, redecorate our room to your liking."

All he wants is his little mate's happiness - and to keep him at his side, to raise their children together.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang returns the kiss slowly, hesitantly. He frowns a little, because he can't help it. How does he really deserve any of this? He curls a little more into Xichen.

"Why...why did you pick me?"

There is nothing particularly special about him. He's not really good at most things that people admire after all. What had drawn Xichen to choose him?

[equivocations]

"I was drawn to you."

But no - he can do better than that. Huaisang is human, after all, and he already knows that humans want to hear about more than being drawn to someone, than knowing they would be compatible. And he wants to see his little mate smile again.

He cuddles him close, kissing the top of his head.

"You're clever. I know you are - you were suspicious of me at first, you knew there was something not right about two travelers happening on the same cave, or how I got in there. You were bold, and honest about what you liked and what you wanted. You responded to me so well - I had barely held you when I felt I never wanted to stop touching you. The sounds you make, seeing you in the height of pleasure - I liked praising you, I liked that you let me take care of you. You're lovely. And now... I understand expectations, and not measuring up to the ones that people we love have for us. I like art and books, too, and I like seeing you happy."

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang can accept that answer but as the other continues while they cuddle he can't help but feel more and more pleased. He exhales a little tilting his head and finding the other's lips again.

"Thank you," he whispers against them. It helps, to hear all of that. There's still so much to get used to, his body still not even fully accustomed to the changes it's going through... the weight of worry about his brother, his clan... but he feels even more secure in the other's affections.

He pauses.

"How long does..." he reaches down toward his stomach, biting his lip as he lowers his head.

[equivocations]

"Thank you," he murmurs in return. "For bringing joy into my life. I will do what I can to make you just as happy."

If that means making sure Huaisang feels loved and cherished, filling his life with art and literature and birds, taking him anywhere he wants to go, or bringing his brother in as their lover - all of that is easy, when it's what he wants, too.

"A few months." He hums contentedly as he rubs a hand over Huaisang's stomach, touch gentle. "Not all of them will take - that is the reason I had to put in so many."

One of his tentacles curls under Huaisang's chin, tilting it back up so he can kiss him again. "I will take care of you," he promises. "I'll be by your side every step of the way."

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang smiles a little and he trusts the other to try and make him happy. He accepts the promise in his words silently. His gaze is lowered to his stomach, to the other's hand on it. His brow furrows and he's not sure what to feel about the fact they don't all take. He stares at his stomach until his face is tilted up by the other's tentacle.

The man swallows and he kisses him back.

"Okay," Huaisang whispers, starting to squirm again. There's still so much he doesn't understand...

"Is Lan Wangji returning?" he asks, he had gotten the feeling Xichen wanted to give his brother more than a brief taste and his breasts still were far too full. And he's still too scared to keep asking questions about the eggs, about everything else.

[equivocations]

Ah - there's still softness and adoration in his expression as he looks at Huaisang, but when he starts to squirm like that, he can't stop the desire from creeping in.

He kisses him again, long and lingering, murmuring, "You are impossible to resist, my A-Sang."

Still, he pauses for a moment before he answers that question. "I would like him to, and I know he would like to as well. I would like both of us to take care of you, to make you feel good." One hand strokes through Huaisang's hair, almost absently. "But I am afraid in my enthusiasm, I keep forgetting that this is very new for you, and I am perhaps not as knowledgeable about humans, especially modern times, as I should be. I do not want to overwhelm you in a bad way."

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang's ears are pink again and he likes being told that, that he's irresistible. He wants to be. As the other answers his question, Huaisang is nervous, remembering how Wangji had started milking him, harsher and harder than Xichen. It had hurt but it had felt good too. He dips his head again to bury his face in the other's neck. He wants to make Xichen happy, to give him everything he wants.

He doesn't want to be a disappointment to him too.

"It... it's okay."

He doesn't really understand why Xichen would want to share him with Wangji or anyone but he does.

[equivocations]

His hand cups the back of Huaisang's head, cradling him close when he buries his face in his neck, and he tips his head down to nuzzle into his hair. Normally, that would be enough for him, but with what Huaisang confessed about wanting to live up to his brother's expectations - he feels like he needs to make something clear first.

"I want to push your limits. I want to give you more pleasure than you have ever known, to open you up to new experiences and to take such good care of you that you will want for nothing. I do not just want to share you with Wangji - I want to share Wangji with you. I want to share everything with you." The tentacles buried inside Huaisang start to thrust into him - the one in his little cock wriggling as it matches pace with the one filling his hole, both nudging against his prostate.

"I want to consume you," he whispers right by Huaisang's ear, voice low and heated. "And to give you all that I am in return. But A-Sang - I adore you. If you tell me you're not ready for something yet, I will listen, and I will not be disappointed. I will still want you."

[eternalgrief]

Maybe even just a little while ago this would have terrified him. The admission of wanting to consume him, could have brought about terrifying thoughts. He swallows, thinking over everything the other says but it's harder to think now that the tentacles are thrusting, the one in his cock just as much a distraction and pleasure exploding intensely from the double stimulation. He curls his fingers into his palms and whimpers, not lifting his head.

His ear is burning, tingling and he shakes his head a little. Maybe despite that he's still afraid, worried of being a disappointment but it's not the only thing factoring into his decision.

"I will tell you if I don't want something," he says softly. He's unsure when it comes to being shared with Wangji or... Wangji being shared with him but... he can do it. "He can come back."

[equivocations]

He cradles him close as he thinks it over, then presses little kisses to his ear when he shakes his head. "Thank you for agreeing to tell me," he says quietly.

Lan Xichen keeps cuddling him, one hand stroking softly through his hair, but his tentacles start moving faster, fucking into him in earnest now. "My beautiful A-Sang, you could not be more perfect if you tried."

He kisses his ear again. "Do you want to come one more time?" he asks, voice low and conspiratory. "Or do you want to wait and let us build you up for a while first?"

Well. They're going to build him up without letting him come for a while anyway, but he'll let his little mate choose if he wants one more orgasm before they do.