"How could you have prepared me for this?" Huaisang says and the words come out more harshly than he intends. He knows Mingjue knows him well enough that when he speaks further it won't be a shock to him.
"How could you have prepared me for your murder and the betrayal of someone considered family? Am I so wrong to not want to lose you again?"
Huaisang's voice doesn't waver, the steel resolve that had come after Mingjue's death showing. And Mingjue had always been above the clan for him, nothing had changed that.
"And I'm not you."
He can't lead the way that Mingjue did and he hasn't even begun to figure out how he leads.
The tone is actually reassuring. He knows his brother feels everything keenly. That he's perhaps more brittle than Mingjue himself is. He still sends a sharp look Huaisang's way, waiting for the rest to be said.
He's not disappointed. And he's a little proud of how steady his brother's voice is. The steel that has finally grown. That is why he finally claps a hand over his brother's and squeezes it.
"If you had listened you would be better prepared to lead. You would have everything you need."
Except him.
"Find one person you can trust. Lean on them. You will learn." Huaisang has to.
"I listened," Huaisang says but he'd also been in denial about Mingjue actually dying anytime soon. He'd spent too long thinking of him as invincible. He kept thinking later...later...later... The other's hand clasping over his makes him close his eyes because he has to stay composed. He can't fall apart and sob on his brother. He can't ever really fall apart again. Because while Mingjue is here at home there is no one. He shakes his head.
"I understand how to lead... You gave me everything but all I want is revenge. I can't trust anyone, da ge. How could I trust anyone now?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
"How could you have prepared me for your murder and the betrayal of someone considered family? Am I so wrong to not want to lose you again?"
Huaisang's voice doesn't waver, the steel resolve that had come after Mingjue's death showing. And Mingjue had always been above the clan for him, nothing had changed that.
"And I'm not you."
He can't lead the way that Mingjue did and he hasn't even begun to figure out how he leads.
no subject
He's not disappointed. And he's a little proud of how steady his brother's voice is. The steel that has finally grown. That is why he finally claps a hand over his brother's and squeezes it.
"If you had listened you would be better prepared to lead. You would have everything you need."
Except him.
"Find one person you can trust. Lean on them. You will learn." Huaisang has to.
no subject
"I understand how to lead... You gave me everything but all I want is revenge. I can't trust anyone, da ge. How could I trust anyone now?"