She respects his strictness and demand for excellence. Maybe others would say it's cruel - but theirs is not always a forgiving world. Knowing how to defend oneself and those unable to themselves is important.
Zishu rests her hand in his and moves at his side, letting him guide her. She wants to be a good wife to him... even when she can't always resist teasing him or drinking his brother under the table.
The location has her smile, though she lowers her gaze to maintain control over it. The amount brought out... and specific options... don't miss her attention. He's being sweet again.
"Do not worry. It won't be wasted." Whatever they didn't finish would be sent to other tables. But she squeezes his fingers just a little, to hint she knows why there's so much food.
Jiang Cheng would deny being sweet until the end of time but he tries in his ways to make her happy to create and strengthen a bond between them. He knows his parents had loved each other but they had struggled and their situation hadn't been totally different... he wants to do things better.
He nods, almost smiling at the squeeze of his fingers but he stifles the urge as he does finally let go of her hand so they can both settle at the table.
He'll pay attention to what things she seems to favor out of the selections for future reference.
Of course he would. And Zishu knows to hold her tongue...mostly. She has more freedom here, she's reluctant to risk losing it.
And he doesn't need to smile. She's heard much about what he's been through - if he smiles, she wants it to be genuine. Maybe even because of her. She takes her seat and takes small portions of a few specifically choice dishes - steering clear of any with walnuts.
Then shows she's also observant by picking what she knows he likes from the array, and serving him equally small portions of each, and pouring him tea before herself.
Jiang Cheng pays attention as she serves herself and then him. It's clear
she's paid attention to the things he likes as well. He reaches for the tea
once everything is settled and takes a sip before starting to eat. His gaze
stays on Zishu for a long time before he looks away at the serene scenery
around them. There's the soft sound of water, that's ever present and
relaxing to him.
"Is there anything you lack here?" he asks after a few moments.
Normally she only puts up with such gazes, slipping into whatever role she needed - either putting herself out there as an example, demanding attention, or seeming to melt into the background. She prefers the latter.
But she finds she doesn't mind his gaze, so only eats in peaceful silence. He'll speak when he wants to, she keeps herself turned so he knows she's aware, even if her gaze is out over the water, enjoying their surroundings.
The eventual question has her thinking, not immediately answering. A kind, serious question deserves consideration for equal earnestness. When she's sure of an answer, she sets her chopsticks down and turns to him.
"You have given me my freedom. A beautiful place to live. A purpose that I am not ashamed of. I can ask for nothing more."
Jiang Cheng knows that the silence means she is thinking and so he waits, taking another drink of his tea in the passing moments and his gaze returns to her when she turns to him.
He lets her think, pick her words carefully. She likes that about him, too.
"So can you." But he doesn't.
Zishu reaches out to rest a hand on his. "I know I can ask for more. But for now, there is nothing more I need. Nor, really, any more that I want at this time."
Should that change, of course she will speak with him.
Jiang Cheng's expression softens into something sadder for a moment. He doesn't know how to ask for more any longer -- how to dream of more for himself. His entire life had become his sect and his nephew and now his nephew is leading his own Sect and the Jiang Sect is flourishing.
He nods in acceptance of her answer, though, satisfied that she would tell him if it changed.
"I..." he starts, awkwardly then. Perhaps he can try a little asking. "I want this," he motions to her and himself. He doesn't know how to talk about his personal wants and emotions and he can already feel the frustration raising -- the kind that usually has him storming off from one person he cares for or another.
Her gaze softens in understanding and she gently turns his hand over to lace their fingers together.
"Show me," she murmurs encouragingly. Sometimes, she knows, words are hard. More often than not she would tease or mock, pushing to get verbal answers. But this is a fragile thing between them still, and she knows how his temper can explode and send him running off.
That wouldn't help either of them now, would it? "I have eaten enough."
There's a moment of surprise at that response. That she doesn't goad him or encourage him to tell her. He feels some of the frustration dimming. He knows even more that this woman is truly the one that is meant for him and he wants her. He's still hesitant, letting their hands stay laced together as his thoughts race for a way to show her.
Even that can be awkward for him. His fingers tighten on hers for a moment before he gently lifts her hand, softly pressing his lips to her knuckles.
They had bedded the night of their wedding but it had not been because of any connection or desire between them but to simply consummate their marriage. They hadn't shared any such intimacy since. It's not about sex even, though, perhaps that is on his mind now and then but the loneliness that she has been breaching that makes him want more. That makes him think that they could be happy together, that he could be happy again.
He doesn't need to say a word. Especially when she can see some of his frustration ease. Even her asking him to show her is hard, she knows this. And realizes it's because he doesn't want to mess this up, doesn't feel he can afford to make mistakes.
Even when he eventually just lifts her hand up to press sweet kisses to her knuckles feels oddly intimate, sending a shiver down her spine. No. They'd made sure to consummate their marriage that night. Neither of them had been willing to risk it on a technicality. But now they can take their time, grow closer before seeing if more can happen between them.
This one kiss to her hand tells her it can. It should be ridiculous and yet -
Running footsteps drag her attention away from her husband, a frown replaces the tender smile. She doesn't try to hold onto his hand, expecting him to recoil, and stands.
"I will return, please stay here," she doesn't look at her husband, already sweeping away with not-so-subtle irritation in the set of her shoulders.
Jiang Cheng had been struggling to think of something to say or something to do once he had pressed his lips to her knuckles. It didn't feel like enough to communicate what he felt, what he meant. He hears the running and there's not an immediate recoil but he pulls his hand back, straightening up as his hand goes to his knee. He doesn't try to stop her, brooding as he watches her moving away.
Something is always happening when he tries to open up to people! Dammit.
If he listens intently enough, he'll probably hear sounds of pain. Brief, but there all the same. Zishu returns quickly enough, after calling for servants to deliver the intruder back to his master.
There's a hard glint in her eyes now though and she holds her hands out to him. "Will you walk with me a bit?" How to ask for a distraction? Help to escape the fury that has latched onto her heels for the first time since coming to Lotus Pier?
Jiang Cheng does hear it and it has a raised brow when Zishu returns. He had been on the verge of stating that he needs to start the business of the day to avoid any awkwardness but also he's very charmed by her at the moment, more so than usual. But...
"I will," he says, getting up and taking her hand with less hesitation than earlier that morning. He tilts his head as he studies her, there's a clear contemplation of whether or not to ask questions but he decides she will tell him what she wants to tell him when she wants to tell him.
She knows they have business to do, the day has to be started properly. And yet he allows her this request. She notices the slighter hesitation as he takes her hand than before, and it helps seep the fury from her bit by bit.
She doesn't respond to that tilt of his head or the question in his eyes. Only holds onto his hand and starts walking. He gives her the gift of silence, of letting her speak first. She might just love him for that.
It still takes a while, longer than usual yet somehow still easier as she relaxes. When she stops, it's by the lotus pond, and she lifts her face to the rising sun, eyes closing as she just breathes for a moment.
"Prince Jin sent a messenger, ordering me to return." She scoffs, lip curling as agitation returns. "The fool believes I'm his soulmate, that he'd realized it after letting me marry you. As if he's qualified to be my soulmate." The last comes almost snarled.
"He should get my answer by next week, depending when the messenger regains consciousness." So there's still a cold note in her quiet voice. Her fury cold and leashed but visible, for once. A peek of who she'd had to be.
Her anger reminds him of his mother -- fierce and strong. Sometimes Zishu's strength makes his heart ache but he admires it and he knows that despite anything he's said when he is younger that a strong and fierce woman is the kind that he needs by his side especially after all that had happened since those younger years. He didn't want someone weaker than him, smaller than him in the ways that mattered. She is his equal. So he isn't bothered by the fury that is quiet but present not as loud as his mother's had been, not as loud as his own. He's comfortable in it.
They walk in silence and it's not uncomfortable even with the unspoken questions and everything. He doesn't let go of her hand when they stop and he just watches her as she turns her face upward. Perhaps he shouldn't stare... But by the time she speaks he shifts his gaze and focuses his attention on her explanation.
The words anger him, they make him want to do something -- anything to Prince Jin. He scowls but he doesn't make an offer to take care of it, she has already taken care of it herself. He still holds her hand admiring this side of Zishu. The glimpse of what necessity had wrought. Necessity had changed him too.
He realizes then that he really must be falling in love with her. He swallows at that, the realization bringing more fear than anything else. The last time he had thought he'd loved someone... He exhales.
Here is a man who doesn't make her bristle in indignation, or insult, or attempt to hide herself. Here is a man who seems to appreciate her strength and intelligence, who doesn't want to repress her.
Even silence when she's working through her fury and he has questions doesn't feel uncomfortable. As her husband, as the head of the Jiang Sect she's married into, he has every right to demand to take care of it all for her.
Instead, she hears that breath, and then the offer to do something. Not a demand. She sighs and turns to him, eyes blinking open to settle on him after a moment. She lifts their joined hands and rests the back of his against her chest, over her heart.
"For now, what you are already doing is enough. If he dares come here in person..." what does she want him to do? Part of her wants to kill Prince Jin and be done with it. But that would only do more damage.
Which leaves one option. "I might have to do something dangerous for Lotus Pier. But he cannot be allowed to continue, though he cannot be killed outright." Dangerous words. But she respects her husband enough to give him this warning. "I know the technique to manage it, and he will let me close enough to do it." Because Prince Jin is nothing if not confident.
Jiang Cheng looks at his hand as it is pulled over her heart while joined with her hand, soft against his own and he can feel the beat of her heart -- steady.
There's a look of concern as she mentions doing something dangerous for Lotus Pier. His instincts scream against that, he can't bear to watch it fall again. But this is his wife and their fates are now twined together and her problems are his problems.
He trusts her judgment.
"Only put Lotus Pier in danger as a last resort," is finally his response. After all, she is a part of Lotus Pier now so her safety is it's safety at the end of the day.
He has every right to be concerned. She hates the thought of this beautiful place being attacked and burned again. The people don't deserve it. Her husband doesn't deserve to lose his home again.
Part of her shudders when he finally answers. Still no chain. Or cage. Her eyes close as she just soaks in that statement, her hand tightens in his. He trusts her.
She nods mutely, then opens her eyes again to gaze intently at him. "I will not allow him to harm you or our home."
Jiang Cheng meets her gaze and he simply nods. He will trust her. "I will be by your side and our people will be behind us," he says simply.
He leans down, pressing his forehead against hers in that moment. Perhaps a more intimate choice than a kiss but it felt right in the moment as he closes his eyes. He hates to think of his home in danger again, his people but they will do what they can to prepare for any potential scenarios and he will support her in whatever way she wants.
And yet somehow, their foreheads resting together is exactly what she needs. Her eyes flutter closed and she relaxes with a sigh. A kiss is just a kiss, in the end. Zishu leans against him, thumb absently rubbing along their entwined fingers pressed between them.
She shifts, letting their noses gently nudge together, letting the quiet moment settle around them.
"I am happy to be your wife. To live here with you." She eventually says, voice much softer now.
Every movement of her thumb is noted, the way she sighs and he memorizes this. He feels safe despite the talk of what dangers may be in the future. He feels safe with her. It's a feeling that is so foreign he doesn't name it right away.
Her admission only strengthens his conclusion. "I am happy to be your husband, to have you by my side," he says quietly.
It's just as foreign to her, and yet she feels it when she's with him. She's tried not to, not quite able to trust it. Too many good things. Too much freedom. No assassination missions.
Just young minds yearning to be taught. A husband to get to know. But his reaction to what she's told him, his admission of what he wants...she feels only one thing can accurately answer that, and tilts her head to seal their lips in a far more tender kiss than what they've shared so far. This time it's a kiss because she wants to kiss her husband. Not because it feels necessary.
Jiang Cheng is shocked by the sudden press of her lips. Perhaps he should have anticipated it... maybe he should have kissed her but this felt right -- her choosing that step. It's gentle and Jiang Cheng kisses her back affectionately if a bit tentatively. He doesn't linger long, the tips of his ears pink and he's highly aware that they are in public view.
She feels that affection when he kisses back. So when it breaks, she's left smiling softly at him, more at peace than before. He'd managed to calm her fury, just by sticking to her side, supporting her. She knows they could be seen, but that wasn't why she'd kissed him.
Her smile brightens at his words. "Then I will." Since she has that permission...but later. When they're in private. What she does do is lean in to nudge their noses together a little, one more time before giving his hand another affectionate squeeze.
"We should start the day...A-Cheng." She knows she will be checking the defenses, drilling the women into what to look for especially in the event of a Window of Heaven attack.
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Zishu rests her hand in his and moves at his side, letting him guide her. She wants to be a good wife to him... even when she can't always resist teasing him or drinking his brother under the table.
The location has her smile, though she lowers her gaze to maintain control over it. The amount brought out... and specific options... don't miss her attention. He's being sweet again.
"Do not worry. It won't be wasted." Whatever they didn't finish would be sent to other tables. But she squeezes his fingers just a little, to hint she knows why there's so much food.
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He nods, almost smiling at the squeeze of his fingers but he stifles the urge as he does finally let go of her hand so they can both settle at the table.
He'll pay attention to what things she seems to favor out of the selections for future reference.
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And he doesn't need to smile. She's heard much about what he's been through - if he smiles, she wants it to be genuine. Maybe even because of her. She takes her seat and takes small portions of a few specifically choice dishes - steering clear of any with walnuts.
Then shows she's also observant by picking what she knows he likes from the array, and serving him equally small portions of each, and pouring him tea before herself.
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Jiang Cheng pays attention as she serves herself and then him. It's clear she's paid attention to the things he likes as well. He reaches for the tea once everything is settled and takes a sip before starting to eat. His gaze stays on Zishu for a long time before he looks away at the serene scenery around them. There's the soft sound of water, that's ever present and relaxing to him.
"Is there anything you lack here?" he asks after a few moments.
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But she finds she doesn't mind his gaze, so only eats in peaceful silence. He'll speak when he wants to, she keeps herself turned so he knows she's aware, even if her gaze is out over the water, enjoying their surroundings.
The eventual question has her thinking, not immediately answering. A kind, serious question deserves consideration for equal earnestness. When she's sure of an answer, she sets her chopsticks down and turns to him.
"You have given me my freedom. A beautiful place to live. A purpose that I am not ashamed of. I can ask for nothing more."
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"But you can ask for more."
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"So can you." But he doesn't.
Zishu reaches out to rest a hand on his. "I know I can ask for more. But for now, there is nothing more I need. Nor, really, any more that I want at this time."
Should that change, of course she will speak with him.
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He nods in acceptance of her answer, though, satisfied that she would tell him if it changed.
"I..." he starts, awkwardly then. Perhaps he can try a little asking. "I want this," he motions to her and himself. He doesn't know how to talk about his personal wants and emotions and he can already feel the frustration raising -- the kind that usually has him storming off from one person he cares for or another.
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Her gaze softens in understanding and she gently turns his hand over to lace their fingers together.
"Show me," she murmurs encouragingly. Sometimes, she knows, words are hard. More often than not she would tease or mock, pushing to get verbal answers. But this is a fragile thing between them still, and she knows how his temper can explode and send him running off.
That wouldn't help either of them now, would it? "I have eaten enough."
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Even that can be awkward for him. His fingers tighten on hers for a moment before he gently lifts her hand, softly pressing his lips to her knuckles.
They had bedded the night of their wedding but it had not been because of any connection or desire between them but to simply consummate their marriage. They hadn't shared any such intimacy since. It's not about sex even, though, perhaps that is on his mind now and then but the loneliness that she has been breaching that makes him want more. That makes him think that they could be happy together, that he could be happy again.
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Even when he eventually just lifts her hand up to press sweet kisses to her knuckles feels oddly intimate, sending a shiver down her spine. No. They'd made sure to consummate their marriage that night. Neither of them had been willing to risk it on a technicality. But now they can take their time, grow closer before seeing if more can happen between them.
This one kiss to her hand tells her it can. It should be ridiculous and yet -
Running footsteps drag her attention away from her husband, a frown replaces the tender smile. She doesn't try to hold onto his hand, expecting him to recoil, and stands.
"I will return, please stay here," she doesn't look at her husband, already sweeping away with not-so-subtle irritation in the set of her shoulders.
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Something is always happening when he tries to open up to people! Dammit.
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There's a hard glint in her eyes now though and she holds her hands out to him. "Will you walk with me a bit?" How to ask for a distraction? Help to escape the fury that has latched onto her heels for the first time since coming to Lotus Pier?
It comes no easier for her than it does for him.
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"I will," he says, getting up and taking her hand with less hesitation than earlier that morning. He tilts his head as he studies her, there's a clear contemplation of whether or not to ask questions but he decides she will tell him what she wants to tell him when she wants to tell him.
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She doesn't respond to that tilt of his head or the question in his eyes. Only holds onto his hand and starts walking. He gives her the gift of silence, of letting her speak first. She might just love him for that.
It still takes a while, longer than usual yet somehow still easier as she relaxes. When she stops, it's by the lotus pond, and she lifts her face to the rising sun, eyes closing as she just breathes for a moment.
"Prince Jin sent a messenger, ordering me to return." She scoffs, lip curling as agitation returns. "The fool believes I'm his soulmate, that he'd realized it after letting me marry you. As if he's qualified to be my soulmate." The last comes almost snarled.
"He should get my answer by next week, depending when the messenger regains consciousness." So there's still a cold note in her quiet voice. Her fury cold and leashed but visible, for once. A peek of who she'd had to be.
Someone ruthless and cruel when necessary.
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They walk in silence and it's not uncomfortable even with the unspoken questions and everything. He doesn't let go of her hand when they stop and he just watches her as she turns her face upward. Perhaps he shouldn't stare... But by the time she speaks he shifts his gaze and focuses his attention on her explanation.
The words anger him, they make him want to do something -- anything to Prince Jin. He scowls but he doesn't make an offer to take care of it, she has already taken care of it herself. He still holds her hand admiring this side of Zishu. The glimpse of what necessity had wrought. Necessity had changed him too.
He realizes then that he really must be falling in love with her. He swallows at that, the realization bringing more fear than anything else. The last time he had thought he'd loved someone... He exhales.
"What would you have me do, if anything?"
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Even silence when she's working through her fury and he has questions doesn't feel uncomfortable. As her husband, as the head of the Jiang Sect she's married into, he has every right to demand to take care of it all for her.
Instead, she hears that breath, and then the offer to do something. Not a demand. She sighs and turns to him, eyes blinking open to settle on him after a moment. She lifts their joined hands and rests the back of his against her chest, over her heart.
"For now, what you are already doing is enough. If he dares come here in person..." what does she want him to do? Part of her wants to kill Prince Jin and be done with it. But that would only do more damage.
Which leaves one option. "I might have to do something dangerous for Lotus Pier. But he cannot be allowed to continue, though he cannot be killed outright." Dangerous words. But she respects her husband enough to give him this warning. "I know the technique to manage it, and he will let me close enough to do it." Because Prince Jin is nothing if not confident.
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There's a look of concern as she mentions doing something dangerous for Lotus Pier. His instincts scream against that, he can't bear to watch it fall again. But this is his wife and their fates are now twined together and her problems are his problems.
He trusts her judgment.
"Only put Lotus Pier in danger as a last resort," is finally his response. After all, she is a part of Lotus Pier now so her safety is it's safety at the end of the day.
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Part of her shudders when he finally answers. Still no chain. Or cage. Her eyes close as she just soaks in that statement, her hand tightens in his. He trusts her.
She nods mutely, then opens her eyes again to gaze intently at him. "I will not allow him to harm you or our home."
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He leans down, pressing his forehead against hers in that moment. Perhaps a more intimate choice than a kiss but it felt right in the moment as he closes his eyes. He hates to think of his home in danger again, his people but they will do what they can to prepare for any potential scenarios and he will support her in whatever way she wants.
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She shifts, letting their noses gently nudge together, letting the quiet moment settle around them.
"I am happy to be your wife. To live here with you." She eventually says, voice much softer now.
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Her admission only strengthens his conclusion. "I am happy to be your husband, to have you by my side," he says quietly.
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Just young minds yearning to be taught. A husband to get to know. But his reaction to what she's told him, his admission of what he wants...she feels only one thing can accurately answer that, and tilts her head to seal their lips in a far more tender kiss than what they've shared so far. This time it's a kiss because she wants to kiss her husband. Not because it feels necessary.
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"You should do that more often," he says.
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Her smile brightens at his words. "Then I will." Since she has that permission...but later. When they're in private. What she does do is lean in to nudge their noses together a little, one more time before giving his hand another affectionate squeeze.
"We should start the day...A-Cheng." She knows she will be checking the defenses, drilling the women into what to look for especially in the event of a Window of Heaven attack.
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