[ NSFW Open Post - 2021 ]

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[eternalgrief]

Huaisang is bright red by this time and despite what the other said he's ashamed of the admission but it's a relief that Xichen still wants him. And a relief when the tentacle starts moving again even if it's not at the right angle and he tries to shift to get it to hit his prostate again even as he was trying to stop himself, Wangji is still there and they're doing this...

"I...don't know if he would," Huaisang shakes his head. A part of him more certain that Nie Mingjue would fly into a rage, his heart twists to think about it even if the idea of Mingjue enjoying it, of wanting him and being lovers with them makes him ache with desire. He doesn't answer for himself but he knows that Xichen already knows the truth.

"Ah," Huaisang cries out when the other starts to thrust against his prostate again and then louder as he arches and squeezes around the tentacle as he comes.

[equivocations]

"I do," he murmurs. "Not to worry, dear heart, I'll see to it. My little mate deserves everything."

He certainly deserves to come after that. Lan Xichen wants Huaisang to feel comfortable talking about things like that, to be willing to tell him what he wants even if he thinks it's shameful - to not be afraid that Lan Xichen will not want him. He strokes him through his orgasm, whispering against his neck about how good Huaisang is for him, how lovely he is, how Lan Xichen cherishes him.

He's still rambling when Wangji sits down at the table with a large pot of congee, spooning it out into bowls.

"Xiongzhang. You let him come already?" There's a minor note of reproach in his voice, but Lan Xichen just smiles at him.

"He deserves a reward for his honesty, does he not?" He turns his smile on Huaisang, kissing him for a moment, before looking back over at Wangji.

"Have a taste, then, Wangji, while I feed him breakfast." One of Lan Xichen's dexterous tentacles picks up a spoon of congee and brings it up to Huaisang's mouth.

At the same time one of Wangji's tentacles curls into the neckline of Huaisang's clothes - but he stops there, looking at him for confirmation first.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang is trembling a little after the orgasm, his breathing heavy as the other keeps whispering against his neck. He hopes, though when the other had said that about his brother that he wouldn't use any unsavory methods... would he be going home?

His gaze lifts for a split second as Wangji joins them at the table. His face goes red and he bows his head, embarrassed at being talked about like that. The realization his admission had been heard not only by Xichen but Wangji as well. He kisses back even if a bit shyly this time.

"I can feed myself," Huaisang says as the other brings a spoon to his mouth but he barely has time to stay on that topic before the other's tentacle is curling against the robes. He sucks in a breath and then he's slowly nodding, embarrassed but he doesn't want to disappoint Xichen.

[equivocations]

No more unsavory means than Lan Xichen used on Huaisang - though of course, Huaisang's was different, because he's Xichen's mate. Mingjue will only be visiting, either here or if he and Huaisang go visit Huaisang's former home.

"But I like doting on you." He pouts a little at Huaisang, but it's mostly playful, and his tentacle does offer him the spoon to take rather than trying to feed him again.

Wangji looks pleased - or at least, Lan Xichen can tell he's pleased, though there isn't much obvious change in his expression. His tentacles pull down the front of Huaisang's clothes to expose his breasts, and then he makes a sound of approval. The tentacles split open into a trio of smaller tentacles, clearly meant for gripping, and he kneads both breasts a little as though trying to get a feel for how full they are.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang takes the spoon. You have a mate who likes to have some independence, Xichen! He manages to take a bite before the other has exposed his breasts. He flushes and sets the spoon down, whimpering as the other starts to knead his breasts. Breasts that were very full and with the kneading one of his nipples started to leak. He could scarcely think of eating with this attention but he forced him to concentrate and bring another spoonful to his mouth.

He didn't dare look up up at Wangji but the flush was moving down his neck and over his chest some.

[equivocations]

He smiles when Huaisang takes the spoon, nuzzling into his neck. Yes, it seems he does - he will have to remember that, and make sure his mate has enough of interest to do so he doesn't feel smothered.

"Disobedient," Wangji comments at the leak of milk, as though Huaisang intentionally did so without permission. "No wasting."

One of Wangji's little suction tentacles comes up to suck up the trickle of milk, and his expression flickers with a hint of approval. "Good."

Assessment done, Wangji attaches his milking tentacles to Huaisang's breasts and begins to milk him. Where Xichen's had been gentle but insistent last night - Wangji's are rougher, suction sharp and quick.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang's eyes flash at being called disobedient but he he scoffs a little at the admonition. Still he bites his lip when the other sucks up the trickle, giving him praise. He has to forget all about trying to eat when the other starts to milk him. He bites his lip even harder at the way it feels when the other does it. It's rough and where it had been an oddly and thoroughly pleasurable experience with Xichen this had a shade of pain added to it.

He squirms against Xichen, finally letting himself whimper. He's getting harder despite the embarrassment, despite the fact that it hurt just as much as it felt good. His head turns toward Xichen, nuzzling at him and wanting to bury his face away from sight.

[equivocations]

There's a little, pleased smile at the way Huaisang scoffs - he likes his fiery little mate, likes the flashes of stubbornness and sweetness he's seen. He's going to enjoy learning how to best take care of him and make him happy.

It's pleasing on an even deeper level that Huaisang turns to him for comfort, squirming and whimpering. He wraps one arm around his stomach, and encourages him to tuck his face into his neck with the other, allowing him to hide his face as he strokes through his hair.

"Is it too much, my dearest?" he asks softly, nuzzling into Huaisang's hair.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang does press his face into the other's neck, the stroking in his hair is comforting even if the hand on his stomach reminds him that he's still far too full. All of that is difficult to focus on though with the harsh sucking on his nipples. He whimpers against Xichen's neck but even with that and the growing arousal there is relief in the milk being relieved from him.

"Mmhm," he whimpers a little against his neck, his nipple sore and his body aching for release now again and still hungry. There were too many things demanding his attention.

[equivocations]

"Not to worry, I'll take care of you." He presses a kiss to the top of his little mate's head, nuzzling into him for a moment longer before he looks up.

"Enough, Wangji - let him finish breakfast first, then you can drink your fill."

Huaisang is having their children, after all, he needs to get his strength up - and he needs Xichen to have a softer touch with him, until he gets used to all of this. Until he ends up begging for more rather than thinking it's too much.

Wangji looks unimpressed, but he obeys, detaching his milking tentacles. Xichen immediately replaces them with his own tiny suction tentacles - though he doesn't do anything with them, just letting them attach to Huaisang's nipples to prevent milk from leaking out and spilling over his clothes.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang breathes a sigh of relief at Xichen's words even if it means there will be more from Wangji before long. He's still embarrassed to be shared this way. He keeps his gaze lowered and draws his head up. He would have covered himself again but the other's tentacles were so quick to attach that he didn't have time. There's at least the relief that they aren't sucking and the tender nipples get some relief. He still doesn't know what to make of how Wangji had made him feel. Between his legs he's aching but he ignores it.

He's quiet as he reaches for the spoon and takes a few bites before drinking more of the tea and avoiding looking at Wangji at all costs. His free hand presses between his legs as if trying to alleviate some of the tension and need for stimulation without really stimulating himself all that much, just a hard press of his hand.

[equivocations]

Ah - his little mate is so adorably shy. Xichen can't wait to see him come out of his shell more as he gets used to living here. Perhaps he should invite Huaisang's brother sooner rather than later - a familiar face may help him adjust.

There's a little smile when he notices Huaisang press his hand between his legs - not like stroking a cock, but more as he would if he needed to relieve some tension to a pussy and clit. "Such a perfect mate I have," he murmurs, gently pushing aside Huaisang's hand with one of his tentacles. "Here, allow me."

The tip of his little flanged tentacle slips back inside Huaisang's tiny cock, and then the tentacle itself coils up, applying just a little bit of pressure as Huaisang's hand had been.

"Would you like to see the gardens today, A-Sang? The blooms should be lovely, and the birds starting to re-emerge now that the storm has passed. Or perhaps you would like to go into the nearest town, and I can purchase you more modern clothing and adornments?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang whimpers a little when the other is replacing his hand with the tentacle. He squirms as it presses inside of him and then there's just enough pressure to give some stimulation but this way it feels all the more teasing and his ears go pink as he tries to focus on eating the food that Wangji had prepared. He's a little more hesitant to drink now with the tentacle pressed into his bladder, knowing how that could escalate.

He swallows a spoonful of the congee and he doesn't really have to think about his answer. He loved gardens but he's also eager to get more modern clothing to wear but... He squirms a little and looks down at himself.

"I...can't... looking like this," for people to see him with a swollen belly, with breasts? It would be humiliating. He's a man and yet looking at him in this situation no one would see him that way.

[equivocations]

Cute. He can't help pressing tiny kisses to the pink tips of Huaisang's ears, soft and affectionate.

He frowns a little at Huaisang's answer. If his mate truly didn't want to go into town, of course they wouldn't - he could always go alone, if he needed to, even though he would much prefer to have his mate by his side. But he doesn't like the idea of it being because of the way Huaisang looks.

"Why not? You are lovely, can you not see it?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang shook his head and he sets the spoon down, flushing all the more. "People wouldn't see me as a man," he says quietly. Mingjue would be ashamed of him, regardless of what Xichen thought, Huaisang knew it. He struggles to even see himself as a man currently between the changes to his body and the way that Xichen has spoken to him, has touched him...

Even now, there's a tentacle pressed inside of his cock like a cock would press inside of a woman.

"And if anyone were to recognize me..."

Huaisang shook his head and his appetite has waned -- not quite sated but the desire to eat fading and he fingers the tea lightly without drinking.

[equivocations]

Oh, no. His heart aches for his little mate, apparently so concerned about this. He looks up at Wangji, a silent communication passing between them, and then his brother stands and gives a bow.

"I will go fetch more water from the cold springs."

The pitcher is only half empty, but Xichen still appreciates the effort, as Wangji leaves them alone to discuss things.

Xichen turns his attention entirely on Huaisang, arms wrapping around him and hugging him close. "Can you help me understand?" he asks quietly. "Are you afraid they would think poorly of you, or do you think poorly of it yourself?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang easily reads that that had just been an excuse for Wangji to leave them alone for a bit. He doesn't look at either of them and still not at Xichen after the other brother made his exit. He does appreciate that they can speak in private and that he doesn't have to feel judgmental eyes on him for this.

"I'm not a woman," Huaisang says, his jaw tensing and he's relatively tempted to push away the other's arms but he doesn't. "Even if you treat me as such, I'm not."

His hands curl slightly into fists.

"If anyone were to see me and recognize who I am it would bring shame on my clan." Huaisang is sure of it that his brother wouldn't be pleased to see his breasts swollen with milk and his stomach full of Xichen's eggs. Huaisang isn't even sure he understands what will happen, what kind of children...how many because it had felt like so many eggs and he felt so full.

[equivocations]

That makes Xichen's brows furrow in even more concern. It... hurts, a little, that Huaisang thinks of this as shameful. It must be a human thing, he tells himself - others in his clan have had human mates who didn't quite understand, and he'd known it would take a while for Huaisang to get use to all of this.

Perhaps this is something he can try to soothe his concerns over, if he tries harder to understand it, to push past his own hurt feelings and the sudden fear that Huaisang doesn't want him.

"I would never want to bring shame to you or your clan," he says hesitantly. His uncertainty is reflected in his tentacles - they writhe restlessly, and he gets them to settle by allowing them to wrap around Huaisang and gently turn him to face him. He cups the side of his face in one hand, thumb stroking over his cheekbone.

"Is being a woman or being with child shameful, in the eyes of your clan?" There's a moment's pause, then he adds even more tentatively, "Is it because of being with me?"

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang feels guilty as the other's tentacles become restless and he knows that it's his fault. He bites down on his lip, head lowering but he doesn't resist being wrapped up in them even if he's slow to lift his gaze toward his face as he's turned around and the other's touch to his face soothes him.

"Neither....it's..." Huaisang sighs, looking away. But there were expectations of members of the Nie clan that every person fulfills their role. It's strict. Huaisang's role is not to be a woman with child. He's a male heir, his brother had pushed him to train with his saber, to meet the expectations of his position and now this is so far from what is expected of his role and far closer to a fantasy that Huaisang had always had and had always known to be ashamed of.

"My brother wouldn't approve."

And Xichen is so convinced that isn't true but Huaisang is far from sure of that.

[equivocations]

He can't help the way he relaxes a little, at hearing that it isn't him or their children that Huaisang is ashamed of. And immediately feels a little guilty that he had made it at all about him, when it is his mate who is so upset.

Xichen tips his head down to kiss him, soft and sweet.

Huaisang must love his brother very much, to be so worried about his approval. Xichen finds it difficult to believe that anyone could not love him like this, particularly not if his brother is worthy of this love, but he understands how you can love someone so much and worry that you will not have their approval at the same time.

"I know what it feels like to have expectations on you, and to be afraid you will not meet them," he says quietly. "But, A-Sang - what do you want?"

[eternalgrief]

Mingjue is far too attached to his older brother, he's the only family he has left and he had done a fair bit of raising Huaisang. Even if they fought and thought differently... Huaisang loves him. He returns the kiss and then rests his head on the other's shoulder, his brow furrowing some still.

"I never really meet his expectations," Huaisang mutters. That's long been a fact.

"What do you mean what do I want?"

Mingjue had been drilling into his head that what he wanted didn't really matter because he was the heir to the Nie Clan.

[equivocations]

Oh.

He can't stop his tentacles from holding him closer at that, a few of them rubbing over his back as though they should sooth away the hurt that must make him feel even though he knows it isn't the kind of pain that can be soothed away.

His heart breaks a little when Huaisang has to ask what he means by that. Oh, Xichen understands having a duty, and sacrificing what one wants for the good of those he's responsible for, but Huaisang is his mate now. He shouldn't have to sacrifice what he wants, not if there's any way Xichen can make them happen.

"Has no one ever asked you that and wanted to know the answer?" His hands run through Huaisang's hair. "I do. What do you want, my mate, what makes you happy?"

[eternalgrief]

In a way, the other did comfort him. his tentacles against Huaisang's back and he allowed it to be a comfort and to relax him. He calms a little more. Despite never being able to meet Mingjue's expectations, he desperately misses him now. But at least he's not alone -- even though, it means that Mingjue is.

There's an exhale and he shakes his head but what he wanted had always been clear -- and at some point, Mingjue had completely supported him.

"Art...birds, books..." Huaisang murmurs and he feels a bit silly adding in luxury despite how accurate it would be. What he likes is not the makings of a Sect Leader, much less the Sect Leader of the Nie Sect.

[equivocations]

"A-Sang," he says quietly, leaning down to kiss him.

He doesn't understand how such things could have been denied him - though, he supposes he can, when he's known that there've been many humans who saw such things as luxuries, frivolities. Things that one could not afford to waste time or money on.

"You're my mate now. You have full access to the Library Pavillion, and if you cannot find what you want there, you can have a wing to fill for yourself. We can build you an aviary for any birds you could want, a gallery for your art - we can paint together, my love, redecorate our room to your liking."

All he wants is his little mate's happiness - and to keep him at his side, to raise their children together.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang returns the kiss slowly, hesitantly. He frowns a little, because he can't help it. How does he really deserve any of this? He curls a little more into Xichen.

"Why...why did you pick me?"

There is nothing particularly special about him. He's not really good at most things that people admire after all. What had drawn Xichen to choose him?