[ NSFW Open Post - 2020 ]

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[equivocations]

He has, of course, always loved Huaisang, but admittedly, he has not often looked at him and wanted, the way he might have with others. Huaisang had always been Mingjue's little brother, and Xichen - he doesn't know when that changed, and he doesn't particularly have the capacity right now to attempt to think back on it.

He has done too much thinking back on things, these last months. Right now the only thing he can bring himself to care about is Huaisang in his arms.

There's something about the weight of Huaisang leaning against him that stokes the fire burning under his skin, and he's contemplating simply picking him up to feel more of it when Huaisang makes a sound and pulls his head back. Oh. His teeth drag over Huaisang's lip, and now he's picking skimming his teeth along the tendon in his neck, over his collarbone, down his stomach.

His hand cradles the back of Huaisang's head when he pulls them towards the wall, just in case, so he can shove them back and press Huaisang up against it without worrying.

"Huaisang," he murmurs, voice rough with emotion, but he was barely able to pull back an inch to get his name out, and he gets distracted by kissing him again before he can continue.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang is glad that Xichen follows, that when they get to the wall, he pushes him against it. It's just what he'd wanted, like the other could read his mind. He draws his hands away from around the other's neck and a soft sound escapes him at his name on the other's lips like that... Maybe he should have checked if he wanted to say anything else but instead he just caves into the hunger he feels, there's almost something desperate in the way he kisses, the way his hands press and slide down over the other's check where he can and then too the sides where their bodies are connected, pressed against so firm. His heart is racing, skin heating up and there's at least a hundred reasons they should stop, they should talk.

His fingers end up gripping at the other's sides, moaning low into the kiss. He hasn't felt so desperate since he was much younger, so full of need and the desire to be touched, to be wanted and to be surrounded by another person's presence, arms, the weight of their body against his which is all the stronger as he's pinned against the wall.

[equivocations]

Xichen meets Huaisang's desperation with his own, breath hitching at the feel of Huaisang's hands on him. It feels like he's coming alive, more with every moment, like his entire world has narrowed down to Huaisang's touch, to the sounds he's managing to pull from him, to the press of their bodies where he has him pinned to the wall.

His fingers tangle in Huaisang's hair, and he adjusts his angle just enough that he can slot one of his thighs between Huaisang's legs. Anything to get them closer, so he can press himself against Huaisang more completely.

Huaisang moans, and Xichen wants - he breaks the kiss, just for a moment, just to rest his forehead against Huaisang's.

"Will you let me take care of you?"

He doesn't, at the moment, particularly care how the question is interpreted. Whatever Huaisang needs, whatever Huaisang wants - Xichen will give it to him and more, anything at all.

[eternalgrief]

Oh. That moment when the other's thigh slid between his legs makes Huaisang melt inside, the heat of it almost unbearably good. He tightens his hands on the other, aware of every place their bodies connect of fingers in his hair and he aches to touch Xichen's but he holds back. It'd be too easy to get lost in the moment, to tangle his fingers in that ribbon and that was out of bounds, he knows that.

The other's question sends another coil of heat through his stomach and downward, the other can probably feel the effect he has on him with the thigh that's between his legs, that he unconsciously squirms against.

"Yes...please," Huaisang answers without really thinking it through. He'd needed... something, anything for so long. It didn't matter how much or how little Xichen offered he didn't want to refuse him.

[equivocations]

There's a soft, sharp intake of breath when Huaisang squirms against his thigh, the feel of his arousal evident, and Xichen is, quite honestly, barely holding himself back enough to wait for the answer to his question.

When he gets it, he lets out a slow exhale before he starts moving. The fabric of their clothes suddenly feels like far too much space between them, and he needs to get rid of some of it now before the effort of pulling away from Huaisang enough to do so is too much.

Even then, he only manages to shrug out of his own outer robe before he's kissing Huaisang again. His hands move to Huaisang's robes without looking, too focused on kissing him, and he ends up just - running them over Huaisang's chest, down his stomach, pressing in to feel the heat of his skin through the fabric.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang whines when the other pulls away, soft but all the same. His eyes are drawn to the other's movements, to the way he doesn't finish before kissing again. As the other touches over his robes while they kiss, Huaisang works his off, pushing them off his shoulders, first the outer and then the inner. It doesn't take long, it's one of his better skills -- getting undressed. His hands come up to cup the other's face, arching off the wall and wanting to feel the press of him against him again.

His fingers slide into the other's hair, where they touch is careful, calculated even if he wants to be reckless and careless there are some things you can't and he respects the other too much to be careless. But the other's hair slides between his fingers and he curls his fingertips against his scalp.

Biting at the other's lips as he breaks the kiss, though not pulling more than a hair's breadth away. "Please," he whispers again and he half doesn't know what he's asking for, just that he needs. He needs to not be alone. Where he'd always been quick to affection and touch he'd been starved for so long and he couldn't get enough now.

[equivocations]

That whine certainly doesn't help feeling the need to press back in again before he's finished undressing. He's not much help, even when he realizes that Huaisang is peeling his robes off - he can't seem to stop touching, anywhere he can reach, fingertips and palms skimming without ever lingering too long on any one place.

His mind whites out for a moment at Huaisang's hands in his hair, the scratch over his scalp, and he's only dimly aware of the short, desperate sound that escapes him. But he's brought back when Huaisang says please, and then his own hands are in Huaisang's hair again, tugging just hard enough to tilt Huaisang's head a little, so he can press a kiss to the spot just below his ear.

"I'm here," he murmurs in response, each word punctuated by a kiss as he makes his way down the line of Huaisang's neck. "I'm here, Huaisang, I have you."

He slides his hands down the other's back, taking longer than he really needs to in order to feel the warmth under him, until his fingers curl around the backs of his thighs. Then he lifts, hauling him up into his arms at the same time as his hips rock forward, pinning him back against the wall again.

[eternalgrief]

Xichen's hands were warm, touching him with care but not like he would break. Huaisang likes that, likes the feeling of the other tugging his hair, his breath shuddering as a shiver runs through him at just that simple kiss at a sensitive area. As the other kisses his neck and his hands move, feeling them get lower until the other is pulling him up, pinning him again and he moans at the heat of it, arching his hips into the other's. He can hardly believe this isn't a dream, that Xichen is really touching him this way, pinning him in a way that makes Huaisang feel like he's coming undone at the seams.

There's the passing thought of why again. Treacherous thoughts that the other saying his name keeps at bay. He lets one of his hand slide down the back of the other's scalp tracing the back of his neck down the center of the other's back before splaying out over a shoulder blade.

"You're so strong," he laughs softly, his lips finding whatever skin they can to kiss and drag his teeth again. Yes, strength is apparently a turn on.

[equivocations]

There's a ragged groan when Huaisang arches up, and he finds himself grinding against his hips, chasing that friction. It almost hurts, the feel of fabric dragging across overheated skin, but at the same time it's not enough, another barrier against the slick slide of skin against skin that he really wants.

But it doesn't feel urgent enough for him to want to separate from Huaisang to do anything about it, not yet. Not while he's got Huaisang's teeth against his skin, and he can tighten his grip around the other's thighs, spreading them just a little bit wider to accommodate him slotting between them.

Xichen gives a quiet huff of amusement, the curve of his smile pressing into Huaisang's shoulder because he can't bring himself to pull his lips from his skin, and nips at him almost playfully.

"Strong enough to hold you here, anyway."

He doesn't let himself think about all the other ways he hasn't been strong, because this - he can do this, and right now it's all that matters.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang mewls against the other's skin when the other parts his thighs wider, feeling him in between them and the heat just grows. His fingers pull away from the other's back to go to the remaining clothing between the two of them, working to open it up so even if it can't be discarded completely at the moment it can be pushed out of the way.

He can feel the smile and it makes him smile. There's something reviving about being able to be playful again, to mean it. He turns his head to press a soft kiss to the side of the other's temple, one hand burying carefully in his hair again.

"I want you," he whispers hotly against the other's ear after dragging his lips there, tilting his head.

[equivocations]

His eyes slide shut, just for a moment, so he can drink in the sounds that Huaisang's making - but they slam back open when he starts working at their clothes, watching as the other bares them both until the next roll of his hips is skin against skin.

Beautiful, brilliant boy, and Xichen doesn't realize he's said that outloud until he hears the emotion in his own voice, low and rough.

It doesn't phase him. Huaisang is beautiful, and brilliant, and he should probably tell him that more often.

Huaisang murmurs in his ear, and it sends a shudder through him, his already full cock giving a twitch. Oh, he could hear Huaisang say that a thousand times and never grow tired of it, he thinks.

He shifts his grip, sliding one arm underneath where both his hands had been gripping so he can hold him up just like that, freeing up his other hand to get between them. His fingertips drag down Huaisang's stomach before he closes his hand around Huaisang's cock. "I want you," he replies. "Right here, like this. I want to see you come undone."

It's a confession - or at least, he whispers it like one.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang stops short a moment at those words, feeling warmth that isn't just arousal come over him. He smiles and ducks his head into the crock of his neck to layer kisses and nips there, over his shoulder and the feeling of the other's skin against his is so good. He pulls his head back when the other shifts, feeling him hold him up against the wall with just one arm as the other...

The other teases him, sliding over his stomach, his muscles contract. It's not the end of it and a shuddered breath escapes Huaisang when the other grasped his cock which is hard and desperate for attention. The words are molton pleasure and desire in his core and he tries to press more flush to Xichen.

"Please," Huaisang says and there's more coyness to it this time, the desperation for affection in the passenger seat to his desires.

[equivocations]

Something warm and soft settles in his ribs at the way his words make Huaisang pause, at the smile he ducks into his neck. He smiles in return, and the kiss he presses behind the other's ear is fond, before he drags his teeth down his earlobe.

He's hot and hard where he's pressed against the inside of Huaisang's thigh, and he can feel every slight shift, the warmth of Huaisang's skin. But every time he thinks about chasing more of it, he gets distracted, taking in every possible sensation - the weight of Huaisang in his hand, the slick friction against his palm when he strokes up, the graze of his fingers against his own cock on every downstroke.

"Please, more?" he asks, his desire giving a slightly intense edge to his otherwise teasing tone.

His touch alternates between firm grip and rough strokes to the featherlight brushes of his fingertips, tracing over Huaisang's cock as though he's trying to map every bit of it. It isn't intended to be a continued tease, not really - well, a little, maybe, but mostly he's looking for Huaisang's reactions, trying to learn what he likes best.

[eternalgrief]

Xichen's cock against his thigh made him ache, he keeps his own hands further up, every part of the other's body is a pleasure to touch and experience. He wants to touch his cock but he purposefully denies both of them. Xichen's hand the most distracting part of him, there's no settled rhythm, the other's grip changing and going from firm and rough to such light touches have him moaning and gripping at the other's shoulders hard. He likes both sorts of touches, the rough and firm hand draws more moans and the light touches draw whimpers and mewls, more wiggling as the touch feels more teasing him.

"More," Huaisang exhales, "please."

There's a pause. "Take your headband off," he whispers softly, he wants to touch his hair without worry. He wants to be able to press their foreheads together at some point.

[equivocations]

Huaisang sounds wonderful, stoking the flames in him higher at the same time as it makes him want to drag this out, to see how long he can keep Huaisang like this. Xichen isn't sure what he wants more, to push him over the edge and watch him unravel, or to keep him on it.

He hasn't decided when he's asked to take his headband off, and his hand stills.

"Huaisang," he says, voice quiet and tender, and he kisses him before he pulls back a little.

There is a brief, absurd moment where he wants to tell Huaisang to remove it himself. But he is not his brother, and although Huaisang is much more aware of what it means than Wei Wuxian had been, it is not something he can allow himself to do when he's fueled by desire.

He lets go of Huaisang's cock to reach back behind him and tug the ribbon free. It is symbolic - there's certainly nothing truly preventing him from losing restraint while he wears it, if he wants to - but he can count on one hand the number of people who have seen him without it, and he can't help but be acutely aware of the intimacy. He lets it fall down to settle on top of his discarded clothes, before he can do something too ridiculous like think about how it would look wrapped around Huaisang's wrists.

His fingers curl back around the other's cock, greedy and desperate, like even the few seconds away were too much. He's decided now, he thinks, and now he settles into a rhythm, strong grip and quick drag.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang kisses him back and he isn't sure the other will actually do it, or that he'll ask why. But he takes it off and doesn't asks questions. A smile tugs at Huaisang's lips as the other pulls the ribbon free, distracting him a bit from the kiss. One hand moves up, sliding through the other's hair without having to keep track of where the ribbon is, without worrying how the other might react if he accidentally touches it.

As the other touches him again he breaks away from his mouth and his lips return to his ear, biting lightly at his earlobe.

"Will you take me?" he asks, voice breathy in his ear as he has one hand buried in the other's hair and the other's fingertips tracing the other's cock, his beautiful perfect cock that Huaisang wants to do so many things with.

[equivocations]

There's another shudder when Huaisang's hands sink completely in his hair, and this time it's accompanied by the sharp press of his hips, grinding up against Huaisang's. It's been a long, long time since someone had free rein with his hair like this, and the touch undoes something in him almost as much as dropping his headband had.

As much as Huaisang whispering in his ear.

"Yes," he promises, even as his hand doesn't slow. "But not yet. I want to see you come like this, first." His teeth press against Huaisang's neck in a messy, open mouthed kiss, as he sets to sucking a mark on his skin. "I want to see how many ways you can unravel in one night."

He doesn't care if it's presumptuous to assume that Huaisang will be willing to spend the night with him, that he's interested in more than getting this out of his system and then parting ways. Perhaps that is all he wants - but then Xichen will just have to make sure it isn't out of his system until morning.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang enjoys the feel of the other's hair, the sound of the other's voice even if the answer makes him whine in protest at first -- it doesn't last long, not with the other pressing an open mouth kiss that quicking shifted to the delicious sensation that walks the line of pain and pleasure where the other is sucking at a sensitive spot.

There's no hurry to get this out of his system, or to think that he wouldn't just want more and more the more he's given.

"And here I was trying not to come too early," Huaisang exhales heavily, the other has him worked up, close to an edge that he'd been shying away from, wanting things to last longer but this, this is a promise of more.

[equivocations]

Oh that - yes, that does something for him, the realization that Huaisang had been keeping himself at bay, trying to prolong this as well. And he already wonders if he can have a second night, because oh he wants to see that, to see Huaisang trying not to come for as long as he can.

He's getting ahead of himself. In all honesty, he is throughly worked up himself, from the friction against Huaisang's thigh, the occasional brushes against his hand, the touch of Huaisang's fingertips - from Huaisang's teeth and lips against his skin, from the sounds he's pulling from him, even from the feel of his cock in his hand as he works him over.

"Don't hold back, please. I will give you as much as you can take, Huaisang." He pauses, considering that. "And perhaps more."

Is it wrong, that he wants to pull Huaisang apart, to make him feel so much pleasure that both of them forget about anything else but this, even if just for tonight? He can't bring himself to care, if it is.

[eternalgrief]

Huaisang lifts his head to look at the other, meeting his eyes the look full of need and desire.

"More than I can take?" Huaisang breathes, looking intrigued, looking all the more turned on. He doesn't quite give him a lot of time to answer, curling his fingers in the other's hair and pressing against the back of his head as he leans to kiss him again. His lips are parted, inviting a deeper kiss, wanting to taste him again as the other's hand pulls him closer and closer to the edge.

As he starts to loosen his grip on trying to control himself it's clear that he'll quickly come at the other's hand.

[equivocations]

Huaisang is beautiful, like this. Xichen watches him back, eyes dark and hungry. He's caught up in the other's reaction, and his hips jerk, the slow, erratic shifts he's been making speeding up almost in time with the stroke of his hand over Huaisang's cock.

It means he has no time to answer before Huaisang's fingers are in his hair again, but he doesn't mind. His tongue dips inside those parted lips, exploratory, tracing over the back of the other's lower lip before searching further. When he pauses the kiss, briefly, it's only to rest his forehead against Huaisang's, lips close enough that they're still breathing the same air.

"Until you can think of nothing else." A tall order, perhaps, given that he's always thought of Huaisang as intelligent and now knows just how cunning he can be, but he makes the promise anyway.

He is up for the challenge.

Xichen kisses him again, tongue plunging immediately back in this time to slide over Huaisang's.

[eternalgrief]

The way the other kissed him is consuming, drawing all his focus to it, the way it just adds to the pleasure of the others hand on him, stroking. And he still wants more so when the other speaks he licks his lips and whether it’s the words or the hand on him he moans, fingers digging a little where they’re still holding the back of his head before he barely catches himself. There’s an intimacy in pressing their foreheads together and Huaisang relishes it in the midst of everything else.

Huaisang kisses back, their tongues sliding together, Huaisang finding moments to suck on xichen’s. There continues to be soft little noises muffled moans, quiet mewls and as he gets close to his peak there are gasps.

It’s not long before he breaks the kiss, pressing his forehead to the older man’s again.

“I’m right there,” his voice a little rough, a little desperate. His cock has started leaking. “Move your hand harder and faster, please.” The please almost comical when the rest sounded more like a command.

[equivocations]

There's a soft, slightly disgruntled noise when Huaisang catches himself from digging his fingers in, and Xichen tilts his head a little bit into the touch. "Don't stop yourself."

He can't seem to get enough of the other's hands in his hair, after all, and he doesn't mind bruises.

The desperate need of his own arousal fades into the background, a little, as everything in him focuses on Huaisang. He takes in every slight movement, the change in the noises he makes, the way his cock leaking makes his grip slicker and faster - memorizing not because he's afraid he won't get to see it again, but because he wants to be able to recognize the signs next time.

He doesn't mind the command, at the moment - what is this for if not to learn what Huaisang likes, what he needs, for the pleasure of seeing him come undone? His grip tightens, thumb pressing roughly at the head in quick circles at a counterpoint to every stroke.

"Let go, Huaisang."

[eternalgrief]

The permission in the other's words is all he needs, letting his fingers dig in slightly, holding onto him tightly as his breathing becomes ragged. In any other position he would have been arching his hips into the other's hand but it's a difficult feat like this to do it more than a few times. But the other is responsive to his needs, his instructions and it's more than enough.

"Ah," Huaisang whimpers as the other's thumb moved over the head of his cock, each time almost making him jerk away at how sensitive he is to touch there. His head falls back against the wall, eyes closed despite wanting to look at Xichen as the feeling of release wells up in him.

When the orgasm does it he's quiet at first but then he moans, back arching as the pleasure spreads through him, his cock aching still but pleasure settling over him. He sags and doesn't move his head or pull his hand from the other's hair when it's over, breathing raggedly.

[equivocations]

Xichen takes advantage of Huaisang tossing his head back like that to mouth along the line of his throat, not quite kisses when it's more the press of teeth. He can feel the vibrations of the way Huaisang whimpers under his lips, and he almost lingers, but - he wants to watch Huaisang as he comes, so he tears himself away to see his face, the way he arches up into him.

He works Huaisang through his release, touch slowing and gentling a little but not stopping. Even when the other sags against him, he keeps going, trying to wring every last bit of pleasure out of him that he can and watching for the moment when it tips over into the oversensitivity of too much.

His cock is still pressed against the inside of Huaisang's thigh, sliding sharply back into focus for him as he watches Huaisang come down - and he can't help the quick jerk of his hips, the drag of his cock against the other's skin now much more intentional.