[ Open Post 2020 ]

[fishtanks]

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[garrrr]

Gar works his jaw his fingers clenching a bit again.

"I said I wouldn't ask again, isn't that enough? What do you want me to do?"

[hybrid_prince]

"Be patient with me while I deal with all of this?" Teddy asks, sighing.

[garrrr]

"Deal with me wanting to see your dick?" Gar stands up, pacing a little then and he really wishes they weren't in public. This felt almost as humiliating as the whole end of the conversation before had been.

"How long did it take with Billy?"

[hybrid_prince]

Before they were initmate? Teddy blushes and looks away from Gar.

"A year and a half."

[garrrr]

"Oh," Gar deflates a little. He crosses his arms, it's not defiant but more the sort that's protective.

"I don't know what you want from me."

[hybrid_prince]

"Patience," Teddy sighs. "Let me get there? Let me be ready? When I'm ready, you'll be the first to know."

[garrrr]

There's a moment that Gar thinks about opening up but he doesn't feel like he can. So he just nods instead.

[hybrid_prince]

"I... really like you Gar, I want to get there too," Teddy promises, his voice now soft. But he's still nervous. "I do. I just... I'm not ready yet. It takes time."

[garrrr]

"Okay," Gar says softly, and he keeps pacing a little. He doesn't feel like he can say anything else. It feels like he's wrong for anything he feels.

[hybrid_prince]

"Please," Teddy says, reaching for Gar. "Tell me what you're thinking."

[garrrr]

"I can't," Gar says, his breath picking up a bit and he recognizes the panic. And it's stupid. He doesn't know how to without feeling like everything he says will be the wrong thing.

[hybrid_prince]

Oh no. That's his fault. Teddy rises and pulls Gar into his arms.

"I love you, Gar. I'm sorry."

[garrrr]

Gar doesn't know what to do with any of that. He just leans into Teddy because even with this stupid fight and everything he feels, Teddy's arms still feel like the safest place in the world.

"Why should you be sorry? I'm the one that fucked up."

[hybrid_prince]

"You're just short of shaking. Which means I did something to upset you too. Because we're not talking, so I don't understand it. I want to understand it."

[garrrr]

"Do we have to do this here?"

Gar wasn't sure he could talk in private either. All his life he'd kept things that weren't happy to himself. People didn't usually see the side of him that wasn't smiling.

[hybrid_prince]

"Let me fly you somewhere?"

Somewhere they can be alone?

[garrrr]

Gar nods after a few seconds hesitating. Maybe he’ll have time to calm down.

[hybrid_prince]

Teddy guides the man just a bit away. Enough to get them behind bushes. Then he goes green and forms wings and lifts Gar into his arms. Then he takes to the sky, relaxing.

[garrrr]

It's nerve wracking even though he knows Teddy is more than strong enough to hold him. He doesn't look down or he'll do anything but calm down. Instead his head is tucked into the other as he holds on while they fly. He wonders where Teddy's taking them but he hadn't bothered to ask. He just needed to not be where Billy or Dawn could see him be such a mess and a total failure.

Which sucks because he's pretty sure Billy is perfect so why even is Teddy with him and how could he love him?

[hybrid_prince]

Teddy doesn't take them far. Just gets them to a nearby rooftop and then lands before putting Gar on his feet. And kisses him lightly on the head when he does so.

"Hey there. Sorry to do that. Doesn't seem like flight is your thing."

[garrrr]

"Just not in the right frame of mind to enjoy it," Gar says and that's pretty much the truth of it. His arms slip away and he just crosses them again. He goes to the edge of the rooftop looking out.

"I'm thinking I'm not good enough... and I don't deserve you."

And there were more than a few things in his past that make those particular feelings be where he gets hyperfocused on.

"And that it hurts a lot to feel like you don't trust me and..." he shakes his head, a shrug. "Just... you don't trust me."

He can't admit that he feels unwanted. It feels wrong to say even what he's already said.

[hybrid_prince]

Well, what had he done with that conversation to earn trust?

"I trust you, Gar. You... you know who I am. That secret is in my team and three or four Avengers. No one else."

[garrrr]

"I know everything I say is wrong," Gar mutters which is why he didn't want to say anything about himself.

"I'm sorry."

[hybrid_prince]

"Woah," Teddy says, frowning. "That's not what I'm saying. I don't... I don't think that, Gar. Not at all."

[garrrr]

"You asked what I'm feeling..." Gar leans against the ledge, his elbows on it and his hands cupping over his head and he takes a few deep breaths.

"How can you even love me or want me? Billy's like... perfect and I'm just not."