[ Open Post 2020 ]

[fishtanks]

Comments

For Teddy

[garrrr]

Gar has been moping since the disastrous conversation with Teddy. Even if he generally acted like himself it's hard to hide completely when you live in close quarters with people. And Dawn? She's good at noticing that sort of thing even though Gar generally refused to talk about it. The fact that it was about his boyfriend had ended up being confessed. She would have figured it out anyway since he generally talked to and about Teddy a lot and suddenly he hasn't been.

But Gar's got no suspicions when she drags him out of the tower and out to the park he sometimes hung out in. She sat him down on a bench with some line about him needing to stop hiding or something.

[hybrid_prince]

At least someone had fed him a line. Teddy? Teddy had followed Billy. 'We may not be dating but I still know how to cheer you up'. That had been Billy's argument. That they should go to his favorite ice cream stand.

He even has an ice cream in hand when Billy says hold on, he had a call from his parents and walked away. That had been five minutes ago, with Teddy licking his ice cream. And eventually he had started to wander to try and find a bench. The nearest one... happened to be occupied by Gar.

And that's when he realizes it was going on. A set up.

Dammit.

"Gar."

[garrrr]

Gar frowns when Teddy joins him. He doesn't say anything about it until the other's saying his name. Where he'd almost buried down all the hurt and negativity he'd been feeling it all comes straight up to the surface just hearing his voice. He presses his lips together.

"Teddy. What are you doing here?"

It hadn't actually dawned on him that Dawn had set him up yet.

[hybrid_prince]

"Billy said we were going for ice cream to make me feel better after, you know, another failed relationship."

Which was what Teddy had described it as.

[garrrr]

"Failed relationship..." Gar mumbles and he's trying not to be pissed about hearing Billy's name under these circumstances. Was that guy meddling?

"We had a fight. Didn't know that meant... are we broken up and I didn't know it?"

[hybrid_prince]

"Was pretty sure you decided I wasn't worth it after I told you I didn't want to give you something in a way that made me feel comfortable."

It made sense to him, but Gar had shut him out.

[garrrr]

"No. I just got that you didn't trust me," Gar retorts a little more heatedly than he meant to. "So it's more that I wasn't worth it."

But he hadn't thought they were broken up.

[hybrid_prince]

Dammit, he still doesn't get it, does he?

"Gar, can't you just put yourself in my shoes for a moment?!"

[garrrr]

"No, because I can't understand how you think I would lie to you or do anything that you wouldn't have approved of with your picture," Gar says, looking down at his hands.

"And then you wanted me to jump through hoops to earn a picture of your dick?"

[hybrid_prince]

"You wouldn't tell me anything Gar," Teddy counters. "You asked for something that I didn't want to give and wouldn't let me ask anything. How is that considerate to me?"

Yeah, they're just going to keep fighting, aren't they?

"Maybe I want things like that to be special."

[garrrr]

One of Gar's hands curl up into a fist, trying not to let himself get hurt again. It doesn't work so well but he pushes it down.

"I told you I wanted it for me. I guess nothing I said was going to be enough? So I'm sorry about the whole fucking thing."

[hybrid_prince]

"And I had to pry that out of you, Gar. You don't just... I don't just have someone tell me to send them intimate pictures of myself to them over the phone. Telling me to just whip it out and send a picture when it could have been, like, Jason on the other line. We've never even..."

Never even seen each other without their clothes on, and wanted that in such a weird way.

"Doesn't my comfort in this sort of thing even matter?"

[garrrr]

"Yeah but..." Gar exhales.

"It doesn't matter. I won't do it again."

There's a lot more he could say but he just suppresses it because that's what he does. Because it's just easier and he's not actually good at confrontation.

[hybrid_prince]

"You... it's about Communication, Gar. It's about feeling like I can tell you that you made me uncomfortable. And I didn't. Because I was stupid. But I didn't... I don't like confrontation. I know, it's weird."

[garrrr]

"Would have been better if you'd just said that instead of making me feel like I wasn't good enough and you don't trust me and like you didn't want me," Gar mumbles. Because if he'd said it that way instead of how convoluted everything had been.

"I don't like confrontation either."

Which is why he mostly holds back on being open even now.

[hybrid_prince]

"Maybe you should have told me what you wanted and why without making it a battle."

Why was that so hard to accept?

[garrrr]

“I didn’t fucking think I was,” Gar snaps a little and then immediately deflated again. “I said I was sorry okay? Can we just stop.”

[hybrid_prince]

The problem is it isn't okay. But Teddy sighs and nods.

"Yeah. We... we'll stop."

[garrrr]

It just doesn't feel like it's over even though Teddy says they'll stop. He doesn't think Teddy can compartmentalize the way he does. He slouches down in the bench.

"I don't know what you want from me. I get it but it doesn't change how it made me feel."

[hybrid_prince]

"I... want us to talk. And To try and understand," Teddy sighs. "Like... I really want us to get to that point."

He finishes his ice cream and licks his fingers clean before settling his hands in his lap.

"I'm just... I'm not ready."

[garrrr]

"Didn't you already get your point across, Teddy? What else am I supposed to understand?"

Gar's hand rubs against his thigh and staying sitting is getting difficult. "I got that when you told me you didn't want to."

[hybrid_prince]

"I'm... scare this isn't going to work out. That if maybe I hold back too much, you won't want me around. Won't want me," Teddy admits, his voice soft and nervous.

[garrrr]

Gar works his jaw his fingers clenching a bit again.

"I said I wouldn't ask again, isn't that enough? What do you want me to do?"

[hybrid_prince]

"Be patient with me while I deal with all of this?" Teddy asks, sighing.

[garrrr]

"Deal with me wanting to see your dick?" Gar stands up, pacing a little then and he really wishes they weren't in public. This felt almost as humiliating as the whole end of the conversation before had been.

"How long did it take with Billy?"